


Inbetween Days

by Wonderlandleighleigh



Category: Captain Britain and MI: 13, Excalibur (Comic), New Mutants, X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: Bisexual Characters, Drunkenness, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, F/M, Gen, Other, Partial Canon Compliancy, Spoilers for X-Men Gold #30
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-26
Updated: 2018-07-11
Packaged: 2019-05-29 00:18:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 20,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15060938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wonderlandleighleigh/pseuds/Wonderlandleighleigh
Summary: After the events of X-Men Gold #30, Kitty, Doug and Illyana hit the road for a trip to the beach. Nothing like running from your problems in an attempt to fix your problems.





	1. Chapter 1

“You got everything?” Logan asks, as he helps Kitty load up the car. 

It’s only been a few days since the wedding, and things at the school are...awkward. To say the least. 

The entire situation prompting Kitty, Illyana and Doug to plan a trip away.

“I think we do,” she says. “Underpants, snacks, Soul Sword, Doug’s ADD meds, phone chargers, music, swimsuits, deodorant. We remembered everything.” 

The old Canadian chuckles a little and wraps Kitty up in a big hug. “I know ‘Ro ain’t too happy about you goin on this trip, leavin’ so soon after everything that happened, but I think it’ll be good for you. Take a breather.” 

Kitty nods and rests her head on his arm. “Thanks.” 

He pulls back and pats her shoulder, before reaching into his back pocket and pulling out a roll of bills. 

“Logan…” 

“Beer money.” 

Illyana zooms past then, snapping up the cash. “Thanks, Logan.” 

Logan shakes his head as Doug steps out and adds his duffel bag to the trunk of the jeep. “You three behave yourselves.” 

“We’ll be little angels,” Doug promises. “New Mutants’ honor.” 

Illyana snorts as she hops into the passenger’s seat. “Honor. Good one, Ramsey.” 

Doug beams at her, as Kitty hops into the driver’s seat, and then looks back at Logan. “Seriously, though. I’ll keep an eye on them.” 

Logan nods. “Good. You need back-up, you call.” 

“I know these two women like the back of my hand,” Doug reassures him. “It’ll be fine.” 

“Kid, one of ‘em is a twisted demon sorceress with major identity an’ morality issues, an’ the other one just left the guy she thought she was in love with since she was thirteen at the altar,” Logan points out. “I think you better rethink your definition of ‘fine.’” 

Doug grins and glances back at the two women, who are looking at Kitty’s phone for the directions. “I got this, Logan. But I’ll keep you posted.” 

Logan sighs, but doesn’t get another word in, because Kitty sticks her head out the window and yells “Get in loser! We’re going swimming!” 

Doug salutes Logan quickly before dashing over nad hopping into the backseat, sliding on a pair of neon pink sunglasses. 

Logan watches as the car pulls out of the driveway to the strains of Gogol Bordello’s “American Wedding” which makes Kitty yell and laugh. “ILLYANA NO!” 

“ILLYANA YES!” the blonde girl cries, as Doug starts shouting along with the song.

Logan shakes his head and heads back into the school.

***** 

“Ororo did not want us to leave,” Kitty tells them as she heads down the highway. It’s hot but they’re not using the air conditioning, preferring to roll the windows down and let the warm air breeze by them. 

“Of course not,” Illyana says as she looks out the window. “She wanted to try and enlist me to get you and my brother back together.” 

“Cause that’s a great idea,” Doug mutters. “Who wants Red Vines?” 

“Hell yes, I want Red Vines,” Kitty tells him. “Ororo still sees me as a little kid. Which I guess is fair. She practically raised me, along with Logan and the Professor. I learned all of my adulting from them. But sometimes I feel like Ororo sees me as somebody who’s...lost, you know?” She takes the box of candy from Doug without taking her eyes off the road. 

“We’re all lost,” Doug points out as he sits back. “I mean, we’ve all died, or been presumed dead, and we’ve all made complete messes of our lives. We’ve all screwed up. Sometimes we need people to point out to us when we’ve gone the wrong way down a one-way street.” 

“Yeah, but Ororo has this weird vision of Kitty and Piotr together,” Illyana says. “That they’ll be this Norman Rockwell picture of Mutant happiness, you know? They’d have a couple kids, Kitty would stay home with them, Piotr would paint or something…” 

“I’m sorry, we’re X-Men,” Doug wrinkles his nose. “How the hell is that a reasonable expectation of two people who have spent the majority of their lives in superpowered fist fights?” 

“It’s not,” Kitty bites out. “God, kids. I don’t even know if I want kids. And kids with Peter? Can you imagine that man as a father?” 

“Then why did you ask him to marry you?” Illyana asks, bewildered. 

“Because I thought it was what I wanted!” Kitty cries. “I thought it’d be good for me and good for him and god dammit, the rest of the team was so invested!” 

“Thirteen-year-old you wanted to marry him,” Doug rolls his eyes behind his shades. “Now-you has no clue what she wants.” 

“You don’t know that,” Kitty snaps as she eats a red vine. “I want red vines. See? I know exactly what I want.” 

“Hopeless,” Illyana marvels. “Totally hopefully.” 

“Oh fuck off, like you’re any better,” Kitty bites back. 

“I never said I was any better,” Illyana laughs. “But you’re the worst sometimes.” 

“I know,” Kitty nods. “I know. I get so in my head about stuff that I can’t navigate my way out, and before I know it I’m wearing this big dress and a veil, which- jesus, a veil, what was I thinking? And I’m almost marrying Peter.”

“I gotta admit, he's not real bright,” Doug points out.

“You don't even know,” Kitty tells them. “I told him this joke the other day, right?”

“No, why?” Illyana whines. “He's terrible at jokes!”

“I said, what did the sick chickpea say to the doctor?”

Both Illyana and Doug groan and recite the punchline along with Kitty:

“I falafel!”

“How did he not get that?!” Doug cries. “how?”

“Sucks at jokes,” Illyana says. “Sucks at them.”

“That’s not all he sucks at,” Kitty says absently.

“Ugh, god dammit,” Illyana shakes her head. “I didn’t need to know that.” 

“Color me curious,” Doug says. “Is he too small? Too big? What?” 

Kitty shrugs. “I...I don’t know! He’s just...the spark’s not there. It was the first few times with him. I thought the sex would keep getting better but it just got old, and I kind of let him do his thing.” 

Illyana had stuffed her fingers into her ears. “Nope,” she muttered. “No. No no no. Don’t want it.” 

Doug wrinkles his nose. “That sucks. Way worse than the not getting jokes thing. You didn’t even try to talk to him about it?” 

“Peter’s a sensitive guy,” Kitty shrugs. “I didn’t want to hurt his feelings.” 

“And you were gonna marry him. And have bad sex. Forever.” 

Kitty cringes. “Fine. A lot of this is my own damn fault, okay? I could have - should have broken things off sooner.” 

Illyana takes her fingers out of her ears then, realizing the conversation had shifted. 

“I thought I wanted this!” Kitty cries, getting a little tearful. “I thought this was what I was supposed to do.” 

“There’s no supposed to, Katya,” Illyana says softly. “There’s just what there is and what we want there to be. They don’t always match up.” 

The tears come easily, and both Illyana and Doug place their hands on her shoulders as she keeps driving.


	2. Chapter 2

“This is it,” Doug says as he pulls the car up to the house along the beach. He’d long since taken over driving duties from Kitty when she clearly needed a break, and drove them the rest of the way while the two girls shared the front seat together, legs tangled and arms wrapped around each other. “You two coulda just taken the backseat you know.” 

“But then you woulda been all alone up here,” Kitty says. 

He gives her a grateful grin, and parks the car, looking up at the house. “Holy crap. Betsy was not kidding about this place.” 

“Betsy?” Illyana snaps. “I’m sorry, did you say Betsy? As in Betsy Braddock? As in your very own Mrs. Robinson.” 

Doug turns an interesting shade of red as he gets out of the car. “She said it was okay to use this place. It belonged to her parents.” 

“It’s amazing,” Kitty says, getting out of the car and stretching. “Betsy gonna come by?” 

“No,” Doug says automatically. “Nope.” 

Kitty and Illyana give each other a look before looking back at Doug. 

“You okay?” Illyana asks. 

He nods. “Yeah. Yeah. Just...Betsy is...amazing. And complicated.”

Kitty and Illyana glance at each other again, and Doug shakes out his head. 

“C’mon. Let’s get set up.” 

The girls follow him to the trunk, and they get to work.

***** 

It’s not long before they’re settled in and changed into bathing suits. The girls are sitting on the sun deck, looking out at the water quietly. 

Illyana sports a black one-piece bathing suit, and a wide-brimmed sun hat, along with dark shades. Kitty is settled back in a dark blue bikini and shades of her own, though hers are white-rimmed. 

Doug leans out, wearing nothing but a pair of grey swim trunks. “Gonna go make a beer run.” 

“Beer money’s in my bag,” Illyana tells him. “Go for it.” 

“Any requests?” 

“Whiskey,” Kitty says automatically. 

Both of her friends stare at her in surprise. 

“What?!” she cries. “I’m allowed to like whiskey.” 

“You don’t drink whiskey,” Doug tells her. 

“Anymore,” she tells him. “Both of you were very dead when I learned how to drink. Whiskey. Glenlivet if they have it. If not, Jameson’s fine.” 

“Who are you?” Illyana asks, tilting her head at her friend. 

“Somebody whose ex-boyfriend drank his weight in scotch twice a week,” Kitty says. 

“We never did talk about that guy,” Doug points out. 

“And we’re not gonna,” Kitty says. “Go make your beer run.” 

“Vodka for me,” Illyana tells Doug, and shoos him off.

Doug shakes his head, bewildered and leaves, sliding the door closed behind him. 

Once he’s gone, Illyana turns to Kitty.

“Ex-boyfriend. Go.” 

“He was ten years older than me, he had a drinking habit, a cigarette habit, was incredible in the sack and we broke up because I was a dumb kid and he was emotionally broken,” Kitty tells her quickly. 

“You miss him?” 

“Fuck if I know.” 

“How good in the sack?” Illyana asks. 

Kitty takes a deep breath and lets it out. “So good, I’m thinking about it right now, and I might be having an ‘I’ll be in my bunk’ moment.” 

“Jeez.” 

“Yep.” 

“Why didn’t you tell me before?” 

“I don’t like thinking about him,” Kitty admits. “I made a lot of mistakes, and so did he and we just...didn’t work. We didn’t work in the end, and I moved on, and by all accounts, he moved on with multiple women over the years. So there wasn’t a reason.” 

“You should call him.” 

“What?!” 

“Come on, he sounds like the perfect rebound!” Illyana cries. 

“No way,” Kitty says, getting to her feet. “Nope.” 

Illyana watches her. 

Kitty turns to her and throws her arms up. “I was in love with him. And he was in love with me. I can’t- he’s not the rebound guy. If I get caught up with Wisdom again that doesn’t just end in a ‘this was nice, see you later.’” 

“What does it end in?” Illyana asks slowly. 

“It ends with one or both of us admitting we still love each other,” Kitty says. “And I’m not ready for that.”

Illyana gets to her feet and hugs her tightly. “Okay.” 

Kitty hugs her back tightly. “Okay.” 

***** 

His phone rings in the liquor store and he digs it out of his swim trunks, looking down at it, before answering. “Rahne! Hey!” 

Rahne Sinclair’s voice comes in clear and friendly. “Dougie! I just got back t’the school, an’ I was hopin’ to see you.” 

“Oh man, I’m sorry, Rahne, I uh...I kinda ran away to the beach with Illyana and Kitty,” Doug says sheepishly. “We’ll be here for the week.” 

“I’m glad Kitty’s gettin’ some time away,” Rahne says kindly. “Sad I missed you, though.” 

“You gonna be around when I get back?” 

“I don’t know yet,” she says. “I hope so.” 

Doug grins. “Okay. Well, hopefully I’ll see you when I get back.” He hefts all of the alcohol in his cart onto the counter as he juggles the phone against his ear. “It’s just that Kitty’s going through some stuff right now, and as a first-tier best friend, helping her to run away from her problems and also work through them at the same time is kind of in the job description.” 

“No, no, o’course Dougie,” Rahne says, and he can hear her smile. “You take care o’ Kitty. Seems as though Logan and Ororo and Kurt have their hands full with poor Piotr.” 

“Sounds about right,” Doug nods as he pulls out the money to pay for the alcohol, grinning at the clerk and handing over his ID as well. 

“What are re doin? Are ye shoppin?” 

“Oh. Yeah uh...just…” he braces himself. “I’m on a liquor run.” 

“Oh, Dougie. You shouldn’t be drinkin’,” Rahne admonishes gently. “It’s not good for you.” 

“I promise we’ll be okay,” Doug tells her evenly. “Just a few drinks tonight to take the edge off. Kitty did a lot of crying in the car.” 

“Over Piotr?” 

“Nope, just her life,” he explains. “But look, I gotta go and get this stuff back to the house. I’ll check in before we get back, see if you’re still around.” 

“That sounds good,” Rahne says, obviously still feeling some trepidation about their drinking. “Be safe.” 

“We will, I promise,” Doug says. “Talk to you soon. Bye.” He hangs up and blows out a breath, grinning sheepishly at the clerk behind the counter as he waves his phone before grabbing the bags. 

He drives quietly back to the house, thinking about Kitty and Illyana and Betsy and Rahne. About the women in his life and how much they can both complicate and simplify everything. 

Doug swallows as he pulls the car into the drive, sitting back as he parks. 

He knows Rahne has feelings for him, and to a certain extent, he returns those feelings. 

But Betsy throws an incredibly appealing wrench in that particular machine. It doesn’t help that they’ve fallen into bed together a couple of times, and haven’t told anyone. 

He knows he’d feel better if he came clean about all of this to Kitty and Illyana, but he’s not sure how, especially since they’re here to help Kitty. 

Doug settles for maneuvering his purchases into the house. “Got the booze!” he calls, and it brings both women dashing down the stairs of the beautiful house, still in their swimsuits. 

“Our hero!” Kitty says in a high-pitched voice. “Whatcha get?” 

Doug laughs and starts unpacking everything. “Okay.” He holds up the bottle of scotch he’d found for Kitty. “Old man drink for you.” He digs out the large bottle of vodka he’d gotten for Illyana. “Old Russian man drink for you.” He digs out the last of his finds: three six packs of Smirnoff Ice. “And these are mine.”

Kitty snorts and sputters. “Oh my god, Doug.” 

Illyana looks delighted. “Doug.” 

“What?” Doug snaps playfully. “I’m a suburban kid from Upstate New York. I’m totally allowed to get white girl wasted.” 

They both snicker and lean against each other, holding each other up as they laugh.

“Judge not,” Doug says, waving the bottle opener he pulls from a cabinet at them. “Lest ye and your old man drinks be judged.” 

“Doug, they’re twist-offs,” Kitty tells him, still laughing. 

Illyana rolls her eyes and opens her vodka, lifting the large bottle to take a swig. 

“‘Yana, don’t you want a glass?” Kitty asks. 

“Nyet,” Illyana tells them sharply in her Russian accent. “In soviet Russia, we smash glass before we drink wodka straight from bottle. We finish bottle we smash that too!” 

“So it begins,” Doug grins, twisting open his first bottle.


	3. Chapter 3

They put the Cure on full-blast, dancing around the cavernous living room; tipsy but not altogether drunk yet. 

“Your brother never wanted to drink!” Kitty complains as they jump around the living room. 

“Look,” Illyana says, swaying with her vodka bottle. “Look, I love my brother. I do. He’s...I love him. But he is boring. You were gonna marry a snoozefest, Kitty. That’s...He paints and he...punches things and he doesn’t understand comedy and I just...You’re so wrong for him.” 

“I’m wrong for him?” Kitty laughs. “He’s wrong for me!”

“Yeah but-” Illyana stops dancing and wraps her free arm around Kitty’s neck. “Piotr needs somebody who’s gonna be...I don’t know. Ernest and like...really nice. Like so nice. Kitty. You’re not nice.” 

“I’m nice!” Kitty cries with a laugh. She turns to Doug. “Tell her, Doug. Tell her I’m nice.” 

“Smart people are never nice,” Doug says as he keeps dancing. “We’re the meanest assholes on earth, because we have too much information. You’re amazing, Kitty. I love the shit outta you, but you an’ me, we’re not nice. Not like Piotr is. Or like...Meggan. Or Rahne. We’re not those people.” 

“I’m nice,” Kitty says again, whirling around with Illyana. “I am!” 

“Okay, Katya,” Illyana grins and twirls her around. “You’re nice.” 

*****   
They wind up drunker, and they wind up back on the sun deck. The sun is gone, the moon having taken its place high over the ocean, and they lay on the deck, looking up at the stars. 

“I had sex with Betsy Braddock,” Doug slurs out. 

Both women roll over and stare at him. 

“What?” 

“Wwwwhat?” 

Doug laughs loudly. “I HAD SEX WITH BETSY BRADDOCK!” 

“When?!” Kitty cries. “When did that happen?!” 

“Last night,” Doug says. “And the night before that. And like...two nights before that.” 

“Damn, Dougie,” Illyana laughs, smacking his face. “Why didn’t you tell us?!” 

“Kitty was getting married!” Doug cries, rubbing his cheek. “And everybody was busy and I don’t know how the hell to navigate any of this. At all.” 

“Was it good?” Illyana asks, baffled. 

“I mean...she keeps comin’ back for more, so I guess I gotta be doin somethin’ right,” Doug shrugs. 

“You dog,” Kitty teases him. “Good for you. I know you always had a thing for her.” 

“Yeah, but then there’s Rahne,” Doug sighs softly. “She’s...she’s so great. She’s pretty, and smart and fun and sweet. And that’s the thing. Like we were sayin’ before. I’m not...nice. Not like she is. I’m not good enough for her. I’m broken.” 

“Are we comparing?” Illyana asks, laying back down. “Cause if we are, I win. I win the broken contest.” 

“There’s not contest, ‘Yana,” Doug rolls his eyes. “But I know I’m not the guy...the kid she remembers. I’m different. She called tonight and got all worried about us drinking.” 

“I mean...I’d be worried,” Kitty laughs. “Come on. The three of us, alone out here in this empty house, drinking away our sorrows. How’s that a good idea?” 

“It’s...an idea,” Doug grins. “It’s our idea, at least.” 

“Rahne adores you,” Kitty tells him. “But if she’s not the one for you, and you want Betsy, you gotta tell her. Or, if you wanna be with Rahne and try to make that work, you gotta stop sleeping with Betsy.” 

“I mean...my brain hears you. And I should probably stop sleeping with Betsy,” Doug says. “My dick on the other hand…” he shrugs helplessly. 

Illyana laughs. “Oh my god.” 

*****   
They stumble around on the beach, drunker still. 

Kitty huffs and sits on the sand, and yells loudly. No words, just a yell to the ocean. 

Doug and Illyana watch her for a moment before sitting next to her.

Kitty pounds her fists into the sand. “Why couldn’t I just be happy?! What is wrong with me?!” 

Illyana rests her head on Kitty’s shoulder, letting her get it out as she yells and breathes hard, and Doug eventually takes her hand. 

“You’re an X-Man,” Doug reminds her. “That’s mostly what’s wrong with you.” 

“And you’re a little gay,” Illyana adds. “And my brother doesn’t really know how to deal with gay.” 

“I’m not-” 

“You’re bi,” Doug cuts Kitty off. “Meaning, you’re a little gay.” 

“Fine,” Kitty pouts. “But plenty of bi people get married and live...whatever, normal lives. Why not me?” 

“Because bi, straight or gay that's not you,” Illyana reminds her. “That’s never been you. You joined the X-Men at thirteen, and every time you tried to get out, you came crawling back for more. I heard about it. You tried to go to college and like...do normal stuff, but you really like punching people, and blowing shit up and saving people’s lives. It’s a whole thing for you.” 

“And Piotr would rather you not do that,” Doug says. 

“‘Katya, stay behind me, Katya,’” Illyana slurs out, imitating her brother’s Russian accent. “‘I will protect you, Katya.’” 

Kitty pounds the sand again and stumbles to her feet. “Fuckin’- stupid- son-of-a-” She stumbles around, kicking the sand. 

“I don’t understand,” Doug says. “I don’t know what’s happening.” 

“She’s having a moment,” Illyana waves him off. “She gets mad when she has moments.” 

“You know the one person who didn’t pull shit like that?” Kitty snaps, turning back to them. “There was one fucking person who would literally just...stand back, and watch me kick the fucking shit out of people. He wouldn’t get protective or weird or mad, he just...he’d say ‘I’ll just watch then shall I?’” 

“I don’t-” Doug stops. “I’m confused. I’m really drunk, but I’m really confused.” 

“Fucking Wisdom,” Kitty tells them. “He fucking- in a fight? He let me take point. He let me do the heavy lifting because he knew I was good at it and he knew I wanted to, and he knew I was better than him, and that was okay! And I fucking- He fucking ruined it. I fucking ruined it. We fucking ruined it.” 

Doug starts to talk again, but Illyana stops him. “Just let her go.” 

“I fucking ruin everything, you guys,” Kitty says, deflating. “Everything falls apart.” 

Illyana nods, and holds her hands out to her best friend. 

Kitty trudges back to them and sits back down, collapsing with her head on her knees. 

Doug watches as Illyana strokes Kitty’s hair, and steals himself as he talks again. “So...how come you two never like...were a thing?” 

“Piotr,” they say at the same time. 

“Isn’t that kind of irrelevant?” Doug asks. “You left him at the altar.” 

“Yeah, but I didn’t leave him for his sister,” Kitty says, sitting up and pushing her hair back. “If Illyana and I start something, it’d be a thing. A great big...epic...thing. And Piotr would literally die.” 

Illyana nods. “Yep. He’d kick the bucket. He’d kick multiple buckets. Especially if he knew we’d messed around with each other before.” 

Doug stares at them, tilting his head, clearly imagining them together. 

Kitty punches him in the jaw. “Don’t be gross.” 

“Ooow!” Doug whines. “Kitty! You’re a ninja!” 

“A great ninja,” Kitty snaps. “I’m a great ninja.” 

Doug rubs his jaw and lies back. “You two should just be together.” 

“No,” Illyana says firmly. “No way. Besides, if we broke up, holy shit we’d just murder each other.” 

“We’d burn down the mansion,” Kitty adds. 

“I’d burn down the mansion,” Illyana corrects her. 

Kitty huffs softly. “That’s probably accurate.” 

“And Piotr would still be dead,” Illyana adds. “We can’t kill Piotr by les-...lebian...lesbianing together.” 

Kitty curls up against Illyana. “Love you, though.” 

Illyana grins and kisses the top of her head. “Love you too, Katya.” She sighs and looks out at the water. “Fuck it.” She turns back to Kitty and leans in, kissing her eagerly. 

Kitty squeaks and flails, surprised and pulls away. “‘Yana!” 

“Fuck it!” Illyana cries. “Just for tonight. It’s just us, and Doug, and he knows better than to tell anybody.” 

“We’re drunk.” 

“The best excuse,” Illyana points out. 

Kitty opens her mouth, and then closes it. 

“Is that a no?” Illyana asks, raising her eyebrows. 

“No,” Kitty says slowly. “No. it’s not a no.” 

Illyana gets to her feet unsteadily and then hauls Kitty up, too, dragging her back to the house. 

“Have good sex!” Doug calls after them, without moving. “Crazy kids.”


	4. Chapter 4

He wakes up as the sun starts to peak over the water, and sits up, stretching and yawning. He rubs at his hair and squints out at the water, before getting up and wandering over, dipping his toes in. 

“Gaah,” Doug mutters at the cold waves hitting his ankles. He takes a deep breath before wading out further and then diving in. He comes up for air, shaking out his hair and yelping. “Gah!” 

He swims back to shore and takes a breath, letting the cool air hitting his body wake him up and help shake at least part of his hangover. He gets back to shore just in time for Kitty to step over, wearing clean shorts and a t-shirt and carrying a towel. 

“Morning,” Doug says. “Thanks for this.” He takes the towel and dries off. 

“Hi,” Kitty grins. She looks sleepy and hungover, but freshly showered. “You okay? I didn’t know you were gonna sleep out here.” 

Doug shrugs. 

“I’m sorry we left you,” Kitty says, taking the towel and wrapping it around his shoulders. 

“S’okay,” Doug grins. “You guys had business.” 

Kitty laughs a little. “Yeah, well…” 

“You guys okay?” Doug asks. 

“Yeah,” Kitty nods. “It was good. Last night was good. But...it doesn’t change anything. Piotr is still Illyana’s brother, and he’s still my...something.” She looks out at the water. “In another life, yeah. She and I would be growing old together in a house full of cats and Bamf plushies. But that ship sailed. Just like mine and Piotr’s ship sailed.” 

Doug nods. “You mentioned that Wisdom guy last night.” 

“He’s been on my mind,” Kitty shrugs. 

He sighs and wraps his arms around her, hugging her tightly. “You always got me. No matter what, you know?” 

Kitty smiles and hugs him back, gripping him tightly. “That makes me so stinkin’ lucky.” 

Doug grins and kisses her temple, before pulling away. “‘Yana still asleep?” 

“Showering,” Kitty says. “We should get some breakfast. There’s not really food in the house. You got booze yesterday but no food.” 

“Don’t judge my priorities,” Doug grins, but nods. “But yeah. We should get some breakfast. Hit the grocery store after. We could cook tonight.”

Kitty grins and nods, following him back to the house, where Illyana is waiting for them. 

“Doug, did you sleep out here?” 

“I did.” 

“Shit,” she says, rubbing his shoulder. “I’m sorry.” 

“I’m fine,” he says, kissing her cheek. “You fine?” 

Illyana nods. “I’m fine.” 

Doug looks at the two of them, observing them for a long, quiet moment as they stand together, looking comfortable if tired and hungover. Their arms are touching, but they’re not holding hands. He grins at them sadly. 

“Go take a shower and get changed,” Kitty tells him. “We’ll chill out til you’re ready.” 

Doug nods. “Yeah. Okay.” He turns and heads up the stairs, glancing back at them for a moment before disappearing up the stairs. 

***** 

“So last night,” Kitty says. 

“Was last night,” Illyana tells her. “And it was amazing. But we can’t do this.” 

Kitty nods and wanders into the kitchen, taking a seat in the breakfast nook, looking out as the sun starts to rise further up on the water. “I know.” 

“Besides, you love me, but you’re not in love with me,” Illyana reminds her. 

Kitty whirls on her, eyes wide. 

“You’re not,” Illyana shrugs. “Just like you love Piotr, but you’re not in love with him.” 

“Maybe I shouldn't date for a while,” Kitty says quietly as she turns back to the window. 

“That’s fair,” Illyana nods, sitting next to her. “And we’ll always have the Hamptons.” 

Kitty grins a little and pulls out her best Bogie. “Here’s lookin’ at you, kid.” 

*****   
They sit outside of a restaurant, sipping coffee and eating slowly and quietly. 

Kitty sips her orange juice and watches her companions through her shades. “So? Doug mentioned hitting the grocery store after we finish here. What do you guys wanna cook?” 

“Can any of us cook?” Illyana asks, looking at them. “Did any of us learn how to cook?” 

“I can make Cup O’ Noodles,” Doug offers. “And Easymac.” 

“We’ll figure it out,” Kitty shrugs. “Two geniuses and the Queen of Limbo. How hard can it be?” 

***** 

The smoke detector goes crazy that night.

“Why did we think this was a good idea?” Illyana laughs as she works to put the fire out in the pan of chicken Kitty is holding. “We are terrible cooks!” 

“I got it I got it I got it!” Doug cries as he dashes into the kitchen with the fire extinguisher, dousing the chicken with it. 

The three of them laugh, and look around, taking in the state of the kitchen. 

“Okay,” Kitty throws the pan down into the sink. “So I forgot. ‘How hard can it be’ are famous last words.” 

Doug laughs and sets the fire extinguisher down, rubbing at his hair. “So? Pizza or chinese food?” 

*****

They settle on pizza, and stretch out in the media room, Gremlins playing on the large flat screen TV.

Each of them have opted to take a couch, and not crowd each other or snuggle. 

Kitty burps softly and Doug and Illyana snicker.

“I’m not sorry,” she tells them. 

Doug burps too. 

Then Illyana. 

They all giggle like morons. 

***** 

The movie ends and Illyana stretches, but stops when Kitty’s phone buzzes. 

She reaches over to get it and frowns. “It’s Kurt.” 

Illyana shrugs and nods for her to pick it up. “Put it on speaker.” 

Kitty does. “Hey, Fuzzy Elf.” 

“Katzchen, how are you?” Kurt asks. He sounds like he’s traveling.

“I’m good. We’re all good, actually.” 

“Hey, Kurt,” Illyana says. 

“Hi,” Doug adds. 

“Ah, yes, hello Illyana, Doug,” Kurt nods. 

“What’s up?” Kitty asks as Doug and Illyana move to sit next to her. 

“I wanted to give you a heads up, Kitty,” Kurt says. “MI-13 has followed a lead to New York and some of them are here for our help. Including Herr Wisdom.” 

Kitty swallows and sits back. “Oh.” 

“I did not want you to be blindsided in case you came home early,” Kurt says gently. “I know things are difficult right now. I did not wish to add to that by surprising you.” 

“No, yeah, I appreciate the heads up,” Kitty says quickly. “Do you...should I…?”

“Nein, Katzchen,” Kurt tells her. “Wisdom knows you’re on leave. He...asked that I pass along his regrets over what happened. He says he’s sorry you’re having a difficult time.” 

Kitty blinks. “He does?” 

“Ja,” Kurt says. “I believe his words were ‘much as I hate Comrade Can Opener, I’m sorry to hear that Kitty’s unhappy.’” 

“Well…” Kitty huffs. “Well you can tell Wisdom to stuff his pity where the son doesn’t shine.” 

Doug wrinkles his nose. “Kitty.” 

“I don’t need his sympathy!” 

“Kitty, he was only trying to be kind,” Kurt points out carefully. “For once.” 

“Well he sucks at it.” 

“Ja, he does,” Kurt agrees. “But an attempt is admirable.” 

“Whatever,” she grumbles and crosses her arms. 

Kurt sighs heavily. “Would you like to come and help us?” 

“No!” Kitty cries. “I mean...no. I don’t wanna see him.” 

Illyana rolls her eyes. “She’ll be ready when you get here, Kurt. Swing by and pick her up.” 

“Hey!” Kitty cries. “Didn’t I say no?!” 

“See you in a bit,” Doug says, hanging up the phone and turning to Kitty. 

“You guys!” Kitty cries. “What the hell?! I don’t wanna go!” 

“You wouldn’t be acting this way if that were true,” Illyana points out. She sighs and turns to Kitty. “Like I said this morning. You love me. You love Piotr. But you’re in love with Wisdom. You said it yourself. If you used him as your rebound, you’d just wind up admitting that. Or he would. Or both.” 

“But-” 

“Go,” Illyana tells her firmly. “We’ll be here when you get back. If it sucks, you can punch me. If it doesn’t, then I was right.” 

Kitty gives her a pleading look. “But…” 

“There’s no us. You said it, I said. It’s true,” Illyana tells her before she can say it. “There’s us as best friends, and us as teammates, but there’s no us us. Nothing’s changed, and you’re still in love with this guy. Go find out if it’s just wishful thinking or the real deal.” 

Kitty nods and sighs. “Fine. But I swear, if I wind up killing him, you’re helping me bury the body.” She gets up and storms off to get ready. 

Doug watches her go, and then looks to Illyana. 

“Don’t look at me that way,” she snaps. 

“Why are you pushing her away?” 

Illyana sighs. “Again, it would kill Piotr. That wasn’t the liquor talking last night, that was the truth. His feelings for Kitty are complicated. The last thing I want to do is make them more complicated.” 

“He’s a big boy, Illyana,” Doug points out. “He’d deal eventually. Trying to protect him doesn’t do him or you any good.” 

“There’s another reason,” Illyana says quietly. “Probably a better reason.” 

“Okay.” Doug says, sitting back, watching her carefully. “What is it?” 

“I don't know if i'm in love with her either.”


	5. Chapter 5

The Blackbird hovers over the sun deck quietly as Kitty straightens out her uniform. She turns to Doug and Illyana and blows out a breath. 

“Hopefully I’ll be back by morning,” she tells them. 

“Don’t rush on our account,” Doug grins. “Go be the workaholic we’re so proud of.” 

“Tell your weird, dirty Englishman we say hi,” Illyana adds. 

Kitty rolls her eyes and hugs them both. “Don’t get into too much trouble without me.” 

“We would never,” Illyana promises. 

“Eh, we might finish off your whiskey,” Doug jokes. 

“You don’t have the liver, Smirnoff boy,” Kitty teases, pushing his shoulder. 

They watch her go hop up the ramp and onto the jet, and as it flies off, Illyana turns to Doug. 

“You wanna get drunk again?” Illyana asks. 

“Not really,” Doug says. 

She nods. “Me neither.” She shrugs. “We could make out.” 

“Gross,” Doug deadpans. 

“Yeah, it is pretty gross,” Illyana agrees. “You wanna go watch Plan 9 From Outer Space?” 

Doug laughs. “Hell, yes I wanna watch Plan 9 From Outer Space.” 

So they do. 

***** 

Illyana lays on one of the couches in front of the television again, watching infomercials. It’s early and Doug is curled up on the couch next to hers, sleeping soundly. He doesn’t move or make noise. He just lays there, and she wonders what it must be like to sleep undisturbed that way. 

Or how he even does, without nightmares. Or if this is maybe an out outlier situation, and he usually has them. Or maybe just sometimes. 

She thinks about Kitty, too. About their night together, and how good it had been. But she knows that they’re making the right choice; that not being together will be better for both of them. It gives Kitty a chance to figure out her shit and gives Illyana the chance to explore herself and her own wants and needs; things she’s pushed to the back of her mind and the bottom of her to-do lists in favor of taking care of her brother and Kitty and being with the X-Men.

Illyana curls up on the couch and smiles to herself a little bit. The idea of finding herself and figuring out who she is and what she wants is both terrifying and exciting. 

But for now, she drifts back to sleep. 

***** 

Kitty sighs softly as she leads Pete Wisdom down the stairs to the kitchen. 

“I think Illyana and Doug are still sleeping,” she tells him quietly. 

He nods and runs a hand through his raven hair. “Y’know, it occurs to me that you saved my bacon, not the other way around. I should be treating you to coffee.” 

Kitty grins a little and starts up the coffeemaker. “This is more convenient, and we both get cranky when we’re around too many people when we’re exhausted.” 

“Suppose s’true,” Pete nods, taking a seat. He looks around and frowns deeply as he takes in the remnants of the mess from the night before. “Oh, Pryde. Did you lot try to cook?” 

She gives him a sheepish look. “Possibly. To ill effect.” 

He shakes his head. “Always meant to teach you.” 

Kitty shrugs and pulls down four mugs. She sighs and takes a seat.

“I meant what I told Wagner, y’know,” He says softly. “I am sorry you’re havin’ a rough time. Much as I don’t like the Tin Can, this can’t be easy on you. Or him, I suppose. Mostly him. Not that I care much.” 

She grins sadly. “I’m working through it. I know Piotr is too. Being away has helped.” 

Pete nods. “S’probably hard to think straight about all this when the great big lug is right under your nose.” 

Kitty laughs softly at the truth of it. “It’s been good. Being here with ‘Yana and Doug.” 

“Always felt bad I didn’ get t’meet them when we were together,” Pete admits. “You always talked about ‘em.” 

“Well, if they wake up any time soon, you can meet them this morning,” she says. She takes a breath and pushes her hair from her face. “Look, Pete. I’m sorry I was mean to you last night. When I first saw you. It wasn’t really anything personal.” 

“Nah, s’fine,” Pete shakes his head. He gives her a lopsided grin. “‘Sides, it’s not like I don’t deserve it most days.” 

They stare at each other for a long moment, before the coffee beeps, and Kitty shakes herself a little. “Okay. Coffee.” She gets up to pour two cups, walking back over and setting one down in front of Pete. 

He looks down at it for a moment before lifting it to take a sip. “So? What’s next after you’re done here?” 

“Back to the X-Men,” Kitty says. “The school and the team.” 

“Is that what you want?” Pete asks, watching her carefully. 

She freezes, her cup almost to her lips. 

He waits. 

Kitty sets her cup back down, and opens her mouth to answer. 

“Yes or no question, Pryde,” Pete says. 

“I…” she shakes her head. “I guess I don’t know. I thought it was. I had the team and the school and Piotr. I thought that’s what I wanted, you know? What I was supposed to want.” 

“And now?” 

“Well,” Kitty says, laughing bitterly. “Now I’ve destroyed my relationship with Piotr, run off to somebody else’s beach house, had very drunk sex with my best friend, and I’m somehow having a civilized, pleasant cup of coffee with my ex.” 

“So it’s been a strange week, is what you’re telling me,” Pete grins.   
“To put it lightly.” 

Pete sighs and reaches out, hesitating a little to see with Kitty does, before taking one of her hands in both of his. “Pryde. You were never ordinary. There’s a good reason you’re leadin’ a team now. Even in a room full of your super special X-Wankers, you stood out as a bit brighter. A bit better than the rest. A bit more. I always thought you were meant for more. More than what you’re ‘supposed to want.’ Because ‘supposed to’ is rubbish. It always has been.” 

She looks into his bright blue eyes, and then down at their hands. It’s the first time in years that he’s reached for her and she hasn’t phased away from him. His words are not dissimilar from the things he used to say when they were together, and she feels a pang of guilt that even though he had a heavy hand in their breakup, she probably took them - him - for granted back then. 

She watches his eyes drift away from her, and he pulls his hands back. “Right. I’ll have me coffee, an’ then be on my way, shall I?” 

“That’s probably a good idea,” she says softly, picking her coffee back up to take a sip. “Were you always so sweet to me?” 

“No,” Pete says automatically. “I was a bastard, and I didn’t deserve you. And both of those things are still true.” 

“Are you saying that because it’s actually true, or because you hate yourself?” Kitty asks. 

“Little of column A, little of column B,” he mutters into this cup. “What’s it matter?” 

“It matters,” she tells him softly. 

They drink their coffee in comfortable silence, and she walks him back up to the sun deck, where the MI-13 transport is waiting. 

“If you ever want to get further away than the Hamptons,” he tells her with a grin. “Give me a ring. Standing offer for a spot in MI-13.” 

She beams. “It’s nice to have options.” 

He chuckles and reaches out to brush her hair away from her face, but stops, waving her off instead. 

He turns to go, but she grabs the sleeve of his coat, tugging him back. When he turns to her, looking confused, Kitty wraps her arms around him tightly, burying her face against his shoulder. 

He smells like sweat and soap and spice and a little like cigarettes. His arms wrap around her tightly, and he rocks her a little, his stubbly chin settling on top of her head. 

“S’gonna be fine, Pryde,” he mutters to her. “S’gonna be just fine.” 

“It’s funny,” she sniffles and pulls back a little to look up at him. “I think you’re the first person to tell me that.” 

Pete smirks. “I may be a bastard who doesn’t deserve you, but I’m usually right.” 

Kitty grips the shoulders of his coat gently, not pulling away. 

“Pryde,” Pete says, his voice low, and a little wary. “Don’t do this now, Pryde.” 

She leans in, her nose brushing his gently. “Do what?” 

“Start something you’re not in the right headspace to finish,” he warns. His thin fingers stroke her lower back gently. 

Kitty brushes her lips against his, and the kiss is soft and slow, and her fingers run through his hair gently. 

When it ends, he sighs and doesn’t meet her eyes. “Kitty…” 

“I’m not sorry,” she tells him. 

Pete huffs out a quiet laugh. “It’s takin’ all my bloody willpower not to ask you to run off with me right now.” 

Kitty smiles, and places one more soft kiss on his lips. “I’ll call.” 

“No you won’t.” 

“Is that a challenge?” she asks, lifting an eyebrow. 

Pete kisses her forehead. “Bye, Pryde.” 

She lets him go, watching him get on the transport. He waves a little, and Kitty waves back, turning back to step into the house as the plan flies off. 

***** 

Doug wakes up to Kitty wandering into the room and laying down on the floor. 

“There’s a perfectly good couch,” he tells her. “Like...right over there.” 

“I’m good,” she says. 

“How was your mission?” 

“Fine.” 

Doug sits up and rubs at his hair as he frowns down at her. “Is that happy monosyllabic, or sad monosyllabic?” 

Kitty flushes a little and shrugs. “What can I say? I’m a sucker for the rude limey.” 

Doug grins and slides down onto the floor to lay down next to her, bringing a large cushion with him and placing it behind their heads. “You guys got back together?” 

“No,” Kitty says quickly. “I’m not ready for that. But...for the first time since before we broke up, it felt...good with him. Like we could work, maybe. And...god dammit. I don’t know what it is, but when we’re on the same wavelength? There’s something about Pete that makes me feel like he won’t ever let anything bad happen to me.” 

“You didn’t feel like that with Piotr?” Doug asks quietly. 

“I...did,” Kitty admits. “But more often than not, I was doing that for him.” 

“I’m glad things with Pete went okay,” Doug tells her. 

Kitty smiles despite herself and hides her face in the cushion. 

“What?” Doug laughs softly. “What’s that about? You didn’t act like that when you were with Illyana.” 

“It’s different,” Kitty whines pleadingly, looking at him again. “It’s…” her voice goes quiet. “With Illyana, she’s so guarded. Sometimes, unless she’s ready to blow, I can’t tell when something is wrong, or if she needs me. And because of that, it’s hard to ask her to be there for me, because I never know if she has the emotional bandwidth to do it.” 

Doug nods, thinking that over. 

“And with Pete...before things went sour, there was so much give and take,” Kitty tells him. “Before he left today, I impulsively hugged him, and he wrapped his arms around me, and he said ‘it’s gonna be fine.’” She shrugs at him. “And I know why nobody had said that to me yet. Because I hurt Piotr. I hurt him in a way I don’t think I can ever repair. But...I needed it. I needed to hear somebody say that things were going to be fine.” 

“It is gonna be fine,” Doug says. “Wisdom’s right.” 

“I know,” Kitty says with a sigh. “I just. That man. Those words.” 

“I take it things went well with Wisdom,” Illyana says groggily. 

“I’m pretty sure Pryde’s in love,” Doug tells her. “I don’t think I’ve heard her talk about anybody like this since we were kids and she was still mooning over your brother.” 

Illyana grins and stretches. “Figured.” 

Kitty sits up, looking at her best friend guiltily. 

“Stop with the face, we already agreed not to be together,” Ilyana snaps. 

“You’re okay?” 

Illyana grins. “I’m fine. Really. I…” she blows out a breath. “I need to really think about what I want. Just in general. In life. I don’t do that often enough. Or at all.” 

“It’s kinda hard when you’re constantly fighting back against the evil side of your personality,” Doug points out. “It’s not like you didn’t have a good reason.” 

“But I have control now,” Illyana says. “And I should be making decisions. Having experiences. Catching up.” 

“Okay, so we put a dating app on your phone and you go to town,” Doug teases. 

“Oh my god,” Illyana groans, flopping back down on the couch. “Can you imagine me bringing hookups home to the school? My brother would lose his mind!” 

“Snowflake!” Kitty cries, imitating Piotr the best she can. “Who is this strange woman in your bedroom?!” 

Doug laughs loudly and buries his head into the couch cushion.


	6. Chapter 6

They spend a quiet day in town, wandering in and out of shops. They get lunch, and then wander out to the beach, walking along the shore with their shoes in their hands. 

Doug stops and looks out, his eyes narrowing in the sun shining down on them.

“Doug?” Kitty asks gently, stopping and turning to check on him.

He shakes his head and takes a seat heavily on the sand.

Illyana and Kitty look at each other, before taking a seat on either side of him.

“Hey,” Illyana says gently, nudging him. 

Doug swallows hard and shakes his head. “Why’d I come back?” 

The two women look at each other, not knowing what to say. 

“Selene wanted me back to catch you guys off-guard.” He turns to Illyana. “She brought me back to kill the New Mutants. But like...in the grand scheme of life the universe and everything, there’s no reason for me to be back.” 

Kitty shakes her head. “That doesn’t matter.” 

“I shoulda stayed dead,” Doug says quietly. 

“No,” Illyana snaps. 

He looks at her.

“We need you, Doug,” she tells him. “We need you here. I need you here. I need you and Piotr and I need Kitty and Sam and Rahne and Xi’an and everybody. I need you to remind me that I’m a person. That I can be a person.” 

Doug shakes his head. “I’m not a person, Illyana, I’m- haven’t you noticed?” he looks at Kitty, too. “Haven’t either of you noticed that all I do is go through the motions? I feel like I don’t know anything about myself anymore. I...I teach at the school, and I help on missions when I’m needed, and I sleep with Betsy and I don’t feel anything.” 

Illyana reaches out and pinches his arm hard. 

“Ow!” he flinches away. 

“Feel that?” she asks. 

“That’s not the same.” 

Kitty and Illyana look at each other again, and then they both tackle him, tickling him mercilessly.

“Shit!” he laughs and squirms and yelps, and they don’t stop. 

“You feel that?!” Kitty cries, laughing as they keep tickling him. 

He keeps laughing and squirming and laughing and suddenly he’s crying, and only then do they stop. He lays back on the sand, palms pressed against his eyes as he keeps crying. 

Doug can’t seem to stop and he feels Kitty’s hand on the top of his head, and Illyana’s on his shoulder, and he shakes with the force of it. 

“In Judaism,” Kitty says gently. “We’d say that it doesn’t really matter how, or why you’re back. It’s about what you do with it. It’s about your free will. God’s given you another shot, and we can ask why, and see if we get an answer, but in the meantime, you have to make the most of it.” 

“You believe that?” Doug asks, doing his best to calm down. 

She shrugs. “Some days.” She grins wryly. “And some days I think that’s total and complete horseshit and if there really is a god, he or she should stop being an asshole about answering questions.” 

The three of them laugh softly and Doug wipes his eyes. 

“I guess I haven’t really been making the most of things,” he admits. “I should fix that.” 

“We can help,” Illyana says.

Kitty nods. “We can definitely help.” 

***** 

So they help. 

Kitty ands out pens and pieces of paper as they sit in the large, ornate dining room when they get back to the house.

“Five things,” she says. “Five things on your bucket list. And they can’t have anything to do with other people. Five things you want to do before you die again.”

Illyana gets to work right away, though Doug seems to struggle, and Kitty steadily, thoughtfully writes things down. 

A half hour goes by, and the three of them finish; first Illyana, then Kitty, then Doug. 

“Pass to the person on your right,” Kitty says, as she passes to Doug. He passes his to Illyana and Illyana passes hers to Kitty.

Doug grins fondly as he looks down at Kitty’s list. “Okay. So Kitty’s are: Get my PHD, go on a cross-country roadtrip, start a computer hardware company, be a spy again, and write a book.” 

Illyana beams at her. “Write a book?” 

The other woman shrugs. “I told you all those stories when you were little. I still love telling stories, why not?” 

Illyana grins widely and looks down at Doug’s list, laughing a little. “Okay. Doug wants to build a robot that doesn’t go evil, go fishing again, translate Catch 22 into a minimum of two alien languages, build a car that doesn’t go evil, and go to Italy on vacation and ride a vespa that I built that doesn’t go evil.” She looks at him. “Doug.” 

“We’re X-Men,” he snaps. “Electronics go evil.” 

Kitty chuckles and looks down at Illyana’s list. “Own a farm - aw, ‘Yana.” 

“I liked my parents’ farm,” Illyana shrugs. “I miss it.” 

“Learn to cook,” Kitty laughs a little. “Learn to play an instrument, have my own apartment and...reassemble my soul.” 

Silence falls over the table as both Doug and Kitty gaze at their friend. 

“It’s not so strange to want to feel whole again,” Illyana mutters, without meeting their eyes. 

Doug reaches over and takes her hand, squeezing it tightly. “No. It’s not.” 

Illyana yanks her hand away and gets up, storming off. “This was dumb.” 

Kitty sits back and looks at Doug helplessly. 

Doug sighs. “How do we even begin to help with that?” 

“I might know a guy,” Kitty says slowly. 

He wrinkles his nose. “A guy? You might know a guy?” 

“I’ll do some digging,” she promises. “We should probably give ‘Yana a little time right now.” 

Doug nods and rubs his eyes. “Why are the three of us so fucked up? How do Bobby and Hank and Warren and Jean and Betsy and Ororo and all of these people just...swallow it all down and keep moving? How do they get up every morning and just keep X-Manning?” 

“Because they don’t think as hard as we do,” Kitty says quietly. “I love them all. I do. But none of them have genius-level intellect except Hank, and even he ignores the scary stuff most of the time. They just go through the motions, they fight for what they think is right, and they don’t think that much harder about it. But you and me? You said it yourself. We have too much information, and we can’t ignore it.” 

“What about Illyana?” 

Kitty looks sad, suddenly. “She doesn’t need genius intellect to know that the world is fucking terrible. She’s seen the worst of it, over and over and over again in ways none of us can imagine. Our trauma doesn’t come close.” 

“So what do we do about it?” Doug asks. 

Kitty shrugs. “I don’t know. You wanna order Chinese food?” 

*****

When she emerges from the stepping disc in Piotr’s room, she finds him painting.

“I thought you had run away to the beach,” he mutters without turning to her.

Illyana takes a deep breath and sits on his bed. “I figured I’d check in.” 

“I am fine,” he says. 

“Nobody believes that,” she huffs. “Try again.” 

Piotr hangs his head and sighs, before turning to face his sister. “Three days ago, I thought I was getting married to the woman I love. How do you think I am?” 

“Devastated,” Illyana says. “Crushed.” 

“Well?” 

She lays back, looking at the ceiling fan above her. “Did you really think she would go through with it?” 

“I had hoped,” Piotr admits, tapping his brush on his canvas gently. “But...deep down, I knew that even if she did, she would not be happy.” He turns back to his canvas. “Nothing makes Katya happy.” 

“She’s definitely a complicated person,” Illyana nods, sitting up again. She switches to Russian, then. “Pochemu vy poprobovali, brat?” 

“Why did I try?” Piotr asks. “Because I love Katya. I had to try. But her heart is elsewhere. As it has been for many years, though she’s tried to deny it.” 

“Wisdom?” Illyana asks. 

“You,” Piotr corrects her, but he reconsiders. “And Wisdom. And Quill and Drake...when she came back to me, finally, I felt lucky...but her heart has not been mine since she was a girl. It hurts that she realized this so very late.”

“Me?” Illyana wrinkles her nose. 

“Do not think me a fool, Illyana,” Piotr snaps. 

She flushes and looks down. 

“Are you together now that I am out of the way?” he asks. 

“No,” she shakes her head. “We took that off the table.” 

Piotr nods. “I appreciate that.” He sighs and turns back to look at her again. “You did not really come here to check on me, though. I know you, Snowflake, even if you don’t think so.” 

Illyana opens her mouth, but closes it again. 

“Well?” 

“Do you think I’m too far gone?” she asks quietly. “That I’m still just a monster?” 

Piotr’s entire face changes from exhausted frustration to concern in seconds, and he waves her closer to his chair. “Come.” 

She hesitates for a moment before coming closer, and he takes her hands. 

“The things that you have seen and been through are bitter pills to swallow,” he tells her. “Your life has been riddled with horrors, Snowflake. But that does not make you one of them.” 

“No?” she scoffs. “The things I’ve done…” 

“And yet, you continue to try to be better,” Piotr says. “You continue to support your friends, and support me. You continue to fight with the X-Men, and to keep your literal inner demons in check. Sometimes you fail, because we all fail. We all lose control. God knows I have, many, many times. But we keep trying.” 

Her lip wibbles a little, and tears threaten her. 

Piotr grins at her sadly and cups her cheek. “Do not cry, Little Snowflake. Where there is life, there is hope. And there is hope for both of us.” 

Illyana bursts into tears then, and smiles at him through them. “I falafel.” 

He chuckles as he hugs her. “I still do not understand this joke.” 

She laughs and cries.


	7. Chapter 7

Kitty looks up when Illyana’s stepping disc appears in the kitchen where she’s unpacking the Chinese food. “Hey! You’re back! You okay?” 

Illyana nods. It’s obvious she’s been crying. “Yeah. I’m good. I went to talk to my brother.” 

Kitty tenses up. “Ah.” 

“It’s okay, Katya,” Illyana assures her. “Or it will be.” 

“I don’t know if that’s true,” Kitty says softly, fiddling with a pack of noodles. “Not between Piotr and I.” 

“He’s grieving,” Illyana explains. “You kind of killed your relationship. Like a lot. You killed it dead. So he’s gonna need a few months to find a new normal. And so are you.”

Kitty doesn’t respond, and doesn’t look at her. 

“Second thoughts?” Illyana asks. 

“No,” Kitty says quickly. “Not at all. I don’t….I can’t marry him. That’s not my life, and I don’t want it to be. Not with him.” 

Illyana frowns, looking at her friend intently. “It’s not just my words that did it. What else was it?” 

Kitty blows out a breath and closes her eyes. “So many things. All the things that we’ve been through.” 

“You know what Piotr said to me?” Illyana asks softly. 

“What?” 

“He said ‘nothing makes Katya happy,’” Illyana recites. 

Kitty nods, biting her lip. “Then it’s a really good thing we didn’t get married. And it’s a really good thing you and I decided not to be together, and it’s a good thing Pete left before anything else happened.” 

“Nothing makes me happy either,” Illyana says to her. “Nothing makes Doug happy. Maybe we’re just destined to be a bunch of miserable assholes for the rest of our lives.” 

“Maybe,” Kitty nods. “What do we do about it?” 

Illyana shrugs. “I guess we could get drunk again.” 

“Seems futile.” 

Doug pokes his head in and looks at them. “Bad time?” 

“Isn’t it always?” Illyana asks, grinning at him. “What’s up?” 

“I’m gonna go make a bonfire on the beach,” he tells them. “I bought s’more supplies. Forget the angst and the Chinese food and come sit.” 

So they do.

***** 

It’s chilly out, and they bring hoodies to snuggle into, and Illyana brings a blanket. They sit quietly and stare at the flames, while the ocean crashes in front of them. 

“What if there really is just no hope for us?” Kitty asks quietly. 

Doug and Illyana look at her grimly, just as Kitty’s phone buzzes. 

She sighs and pulls the phone out, opening up her text messages. Her lips twist, and her eyes widen. 

“What?” Doug asks. “What is it?” 

The two blondes leans in and look, and there, on the screen, under Pete Wisdom’s text log, is a photo Pete himself, holding up a drink for the camera, with Kurt, Meggan and Brian, at what appears to be a burlesque club on a very busy night. Kurt’s fur is covered in sticky lipstick kisses, while Brian and Meggan are sharing a feather boa. 

The text beneath the photo reads ‘mini Excalibur reunion.’ 

Kitty lets out a giggle. 

So does Illyana. 

Doug grins, laughing a little. 

“You wanna go?” Kitty asks them. “We should go.”

“Should we?” Doug asks. 

Illyana takes a deep breath. “We can’t just sit around here and mope. Moping is dumb and it sucks.” 

They all look at each other for a long moment before they scramble to their feet and rush back to the house to get changed, Illyana rushing back to the fire quickly to put it out.

***** 

The club is busy to be sure and Doug tugs at the collar of his button-down shirt as he looks around.

They’ve dressed up; Kitty and Illyana in black dresses, and Doug in his grey button down and black slacks. They look stylish, blending in with everyone but the performers, who are all dressed in incredible, bright costumes.

“How are we gonna find them in all this?” he asks, dodging an incredibly tall women in an electric red can-can dress. 

“I got it,” Kitty says. She cups her hands over her mouth and yells. “MARCO!” 

All at once, Meggan’s voice can be heard. “POLO!” The blonde hops up and lights up like Christmas, her forest green, shimmery dress reflecting in the lights. “KITTY!” 

Kitty grabs onto Illyana’s hand, who grabs onto Doug’s and they phase through the crowd quickly. 

“Now it’s a proper reunion!” Brian cries happily, standing up to hug Kitty. “So good to see you.” 

“You too!” Kitty grins and hugs him tightly before hugging Meggan. “You guys got a babysitter?” 

“We did!” Meggan smiles. She turns to Doug and smiles warmly. “I know you don’t really know us, but we feel like we know you.” 

Doug nods and waves awkwardly. “Hi. I’m Doug. Like...real Doug.” 

Pete gets up, then, shaking his hand. “Pryde talked about you a lot.” 

“I hope it was like...nice things and not embarrassing fifteen-year-old boy things,” Doug grins. 

“Little of both,” Brian grins, shaking his hand. 

“And this is Illyana, I guess,” Pete nods to the other blonde. “Fancy a drink?” 

“Hell yeah,” Illyana nods. “Vodka.” 

“Just vodka?” Pete asks. 

“Just vodka,” Illyana nods. She nudges in next to Kurt and grins at him. “Gettin’ a little action, Fuzzy Elf?” 

“Ja, you could say that,” Kurt slurs happily, obviously a little drunk. He wraps an arm around her affectionately. “We’re glad you three are here, but we did not expect you to show up from your holiday.”

“It’s kind of been a pity party today,” Kitty admits sheepishly as she squeezes in between Brian and Pete. “We needed a breather from feeling sad for ourselves.” 

“You a’right?” Pete asks, lifting an eyebrow. 

She nods and takes his whiskey glass, taking a sip. “We’re good. Budge over though, stop hogging all the table.” 

“If you’re that bovvered you could just sit on my lap,” Pete teases.

“Don’t you start,” Brian snaps, pointing a finger. 

“Ja, Wisdom, Katzchen has enough drama in her life right now without you adding to it,” Kurt says. “Besides, she learned her lesson with you a long time ago.” 

“Suppose she has,” Pete says quietly, and gives Kitty a regretful grin. “Why don’t I run an’ get our new arrivals their drinks, aye?” 

“Refill for me, Danke,” Kurt grins, waving his glass from his tail. 

“Stop that, you’ll drop it,” Meggan chides him.

Pete nods. “Right. Dankel for the Elf, Glenlivet for Pryde, Stolie for the Russian, what about you, Ramsey?” 

“Strawberry daiquiri,” Doug says. 

“What, really?” Pete wrinkles his nose. 

“You’re lucky he didn’t ask for another Smirnoff Ice,” Illyana says. “Our Dougie is a girl drink drunk.” 

Doug shrugs innocently as Pete wanders off, bewildered, to get their drinks. 

“You seem friendlier with Wisdom than normal,” Brian says, raising an eyebrow a Kitty. 

Kitty shrugs. “So what even brought this reunion on?” 

“We got a sitter that hasn’t run screaming yet!” Meggan says excitedly. “But we didn’t know what to do with our night, and so Brian called Kurt, and he and Pete were already planning to go for a drink together, and then I wanted to do something more fun and Pete suggested this place and here we are! And then we took a photo together and I made Pete send it to you, and here you are!” 

Kitty giggles. “Well, I’m glad we’re here. I really miss you, Meggan.” 

“Oh, I miss you too,” Meggan smiles, hugging her again over Brian, who shifts out of the way as best he can. “Are you alright? How are you holding up?” 

Kitty shrugs. “I either made the best or worst decision of my romantic life the other day. I’m a little up and down.” 

“Well, don’t you think about that tonight,” Brian tells her gently. “You just have a good time.” 

“And you two, as well,” Kurt says, pointing to Illyana and Doug. “You have all been through the ringer. It’s time to relax and have fun.” 

“Yessir, Captain Fuzzy sir,” Doug jokes. 

“Drinks!” Pete calls as he steps back over. “Stolie for the witch girl.” 

Illyana takes it and smirks. “Spacebo, Wisdom.” 

“Scotch for Pryde.” 

“Thaaank you.” 

“And a bloody great daiquiri for the nerd.” 

“Dweeb, actually,” Doug corrects him as he takes his drink. 

Pete goes to sit further from Kitty, but she snatches at his shirt sleeve and pulls him back to sit next to her again. 

“A’right. Pryde?” 

She nods and sips her drink as the group chats around her, enjoying the company. The drinks keep coming (for everyone but Brian, who nurses a bottle of non-alcoholic beer), and she likes this, she thinks. The camaraderie and the ease; the familiarity. Brian and Meggan and Kurt laughing around her, and Illyana verbally sparring with Pete while Doug adds a few well-placed jabs here and there. The feeling of Pete next to her, her shoulder touching his, as he sips and then sets down his drink periodically. 

As the group yells and laughs around her, Pete eventually leans in. 

“Not like you to be so quiet.” 

Kitty nods. “Like I said earlier, it’s been kind of a sad day.” She tries to smile at him. She finds that all she wants to do is wrap her arms around one of his, and bury her face in his shoulder, but holds back in front of the group, unwilling to start that conversation, or confuse things even more for Pete. 

“Cheer up, Luv,” he smiles at her encouragingly. “The show’s about to start.” 

The house lights dim, and the stage lights burst into life as the club erupts in cheers and applause.


	8. Chapter 8

Everyone but Brian leaves the club tipsy after the show and a few more drinks. 

Doug and Illyana walk arm-in-arm with Kurt, while Brian wraps his arm around a stumbling Meggan. Kitty holds onto Pete’s tightly as they walk. 

“This is where we leave you,” Illyana grins at them as she steps away from Kurt, stumbling a little. “We gotta get back to our beach house and our pity party.” 

“Nein,” Kurt whines. “Nein, one more drink, Liebchen.” 

“Or five,” Pete offers. “We could do five more drinks. I got five more drinks in me.” 

“I think Meggan and I are calling it a night,” Brian grins. “We’ve got to get back to Maggie.” 

“Awww, give her a big kiss from us,” Kitty says, letting go of Pete to hug them both. 

Kurt stumbles over for a hug as well, and the four of them hold each other. 

“Call me next week,” Meggan smiles at Kitty. 

“I definitely will,” Kitty says, smiling and pulling back.

Brian pats Pete’s shoulder gently. “Make good choices. See you at the office.” 

Pete nods. “Night, Captain.” 

As they walk off, Illyana takes Kitty’s arm. “Come on, Katya. We’re gonna go.” 

“Are you sure?” Kurt pouts a little. 

“Nah, let ‘em go, Wagner,” Pete says. “You an’ I can have a couple more if you like.” 

Kurt sighs heavily, but nods, hugging Kitty tightly. “Take care, Katzchen. And do not be too sad. This too, shall pass.” 

She nods against his shoulder. “Thanks, Fuzzy Elf.” She pulls back and grins at him, before he moves on to hug Illyana and Doug, and she looks at Pete. 

“See you ‘round, Pryde,” he nods. 

Kitty smiles and walks over, hugging him tightly, closing her eyes. His lips press a soft kiss to her temple, just over her hair, and she feels herself instinctively relax. 

“You could stay a bit longer,” he mutters softly, his fingers twisting in her curly hair lightly. “Call Illyana for a lift back later.” 

“Or tomorrow morning?” she looks up at him with a grin. 

“Don’t you tempt me, Pryde,” Pete smirks back. “I’m tipsy, and you’re still the smartest, most beautiful woman I know.” 

Kitty sighs and tugs on his waistcoat gently. “I’m not ready.” 

“Yeah, I know,” he nods, brushing her hair from her face gently. “Go with your mates, I’ll call.” 

“No you won’t,” Kitty grins. 

Pete smiles back, his blue eyes warm. “Bye, Pryde.” 

Her eyebrows raise. “Maybe one more drink?”

He shakes his head. “Not a good idea.”

“One more kiss, maybe?” She tries, pursing her lips. 

Pete squeezes his eyes shut, struggling not to give in.

“Nein, Katzchen!” Kurt calls. “Do not kiss Wisdom!”

“Wagner's right, luv. Which is a phrase I hate saying.” He sighs and gently walks her back over to Doug and Illyana. 

Doug takes Kitty's hand and tugs her toward the stepping disc Illyana conjures. 

“Bye, guys,” Illyana grins. “Don't get into too much trouble without us.”

“No promises, Liebchen,” Kurt tells her, wrapping an arm around Pete’s neck and patting his cheek with a furry blue hand. 

Pete wrinkles his nose and squints one eye. 

The trio steps through the disc and Pete hangs his head. 

“Gordon Bennett, I’m in trouble,” Pete blurts out. 

“Ja, my friend,” Kurt nods. “You are at that. Let’s go find another drink.” 

“Five,” Pete snaps. “Five drinks.” 

Kurt pats his shoulder. “Five it is.” 

***** 

They sprawl on the biggest bed in the house after getting back and getting changed.

Kitty stares up at the ceiling fan that swivels lazily above them, and listens to the ocean crashing outside the balcony doors. 

She huffs and crawls out of bed, leaving Illyana and Doug to doze as she steps out onto the balcony, grabbing her phone on the way.

She leans on the railing, watching the ocean crash and looks down at her phone. She thinks about calling Piotr, or even Pete, but sighs. She’s still drunk, but not quite that drunk. 

She calls Logan instead, taking a seat on the wood beneath her and curling up as she waits for him to pick up. 

“Hey, Darlin.” 

“Hi,” Kitty smiles. 

“Ooh, I know that tone. Doug and ‘Yana gotcha drunk, huh?” 

“Well…” she smiles a little. “So...we went out. And we met up with Kurt and Meggan and Brian and Pete. And we all got each other drunk. Well not Brian. Brian doesn’t do that anymore.” 

“Pete, huh?” 

Kitty closes her eyes. “I know, I know. I just broke things off with Piotr. I’m not ready for another thing with anybody. But he was there and I was there and-” 

“You don’t gotta justify yourself to me, Pun’kin,” Logan says. “You’re a grown up, you can make grown-up decisions.” 

“I don’t wanna hurt Piotr anymore,” Kitty mutters softly. “I thought about calling him tonight. I don’t know what to say.” 

“I think ya said your piece already,” Logan tells her gently. “You don’t gotta beat a dead horse, here. He got the message.” 

Kitty blows out a breath. “You know, there was this really brief window of time, when I was with Wisdom, and Piotr was around, and they weren’t trying to kill each other that things were really good. Pete and I were good together, and Piotr was finding peace, and he was happy for me. And I just...I want that. That’s what I want my life to be like.” 

“Friends with Petey and more than friends with Wisdom?” Logan asks. “That’s what you want? You spent years hatin’ on that guy, you know.” 

“I know,” Kitty says guiltily. “I was embarrassed and ashamed of how things ended with Pete. He left, and I was mad at him for so long. It was easy to be mad at him.” 

“And now?” 

She doesn’t answer. 

“What about Illyana?” 

“Illyana doesn’t wanna be with me,” Kitty says quickly. “And even if she did, Piotr would go nuts.” 

“And he won’t when he finds out you want Wisdom back?” 

“It’s different,” Kitty argues. “Pete’s not his sister.” 

“Guess so,” Logan says. “You wanna hear what I think?” 

“What?” 

“I think you’re scared,” Logan tells her. “I think you just made a big, scary decision, and now you’re facin’ it, and Wisdom is familiar, and willing.” 

“What’s wrong with that?” Kitty asks. “What’s wrong with wanting someone to comfort me?” 

“Nothing,” Logan answers. “That’s what Doug is for. And Illyana. Me, the Elf, ‘Roro. Any number of us, we’re here for you.” 

“No,” Kitty snaps. “No. You and Kurt and Ororo are there for Piotr. And that’s fine, but don’t pretend like sides aren’t being chosen here, because they are.” 

“We’re here for you too,” Logan says firmly. “You ran off to the beach. And it’s fine that you needed space, but we can’t support you if you’re not here to support, kid. To say nothin’ of the fact that you shoulda broken things off with Petey a long time ago if you still had feelings for Wisdom.” 

“I didn’t know I did!” 

“And what about your feelings for Illyana? Ain’t like most of us don’t see it,” Logan points out. “Didn’t think maybe your feelings for her might make things with Piotr awkward?” 

“I-” Kitty stops. “No, you’re right. I was selfish. It was selfish to try and make things work with Piotr when I had feelings for other people. And that’s the reason I’m not really grieving our relationship, I’m just shaming myself over it.” She closes her eyes. “I just wanted it to work, Logan. I wanted to want him, and a life with him.” 

“I know you did,” Logan says gently. “But that ain’t you, Pun’kin.” 

“So I keep hearing,” Kitty grins wryly. “If that’s not me, what is?” 

Logan chuckes. “You know the answer to that question, Kitty. You always have. One of the reasons you never got put with the New Mutants was because you knew who you were from jump. You were one of us. Ya still are.” 

Kitty stays quiet for a long moment, looking out at the water. “Piotr’s gonna be okay, right?” 

“Yeah,” Logan drawls out. “Eventually. But it’ll take time.” 

“I can’t be team leader after this, can I?” she asks grimly. 

“It’d be an adjustment to make it work,” Logan says carefully. 

“Too much of an adjustment?” 

“No way to know except tryin,” Logan points out. 

“Maybe I shouldn’t come back,” Kitty sighs. 

“Don’t do that, Kitty. Don’t run like that. A week away is one thing, but-” 

Kitty sighs softly. “There’s so much I haven’t done, Logan. There are so many things I want to do, and the X-Men eats up my entire life. If I left, it wouldn’t be just about Piotr. It’d be about wanting more.” 

“Well,” Logan says thoughtfully. “You’ve done it before, and you came back. Ain’t no harm in tryin’ again, gettin’ more experiences. We’re always gonna be there for ya, Pun’kin.” 

She smiles to herself and looks out at the water again. “Yeah, I know. Thanks.” 

“Get some sleep, Kitty,” he tells her. “Things’ll look less murky in the daylight.” 

“G’night, Logan.” 

“Sweet dreams.”


	9. Chapter 9

Illyana’s phone buzzes the next morning and wakes the three of them up. 

She picks it up and squints at it. “I...have a lunch date.” 

“I’m sorry what?” Doug asks, looking perplexed. 

“Meggan convinced me to download a dating up last night,” Illyana explains, rubbing her eyes. “Drunkenly. And I drunkenly started chatting up some girl here in town. And now we’re getting lunch today.” 

“S’nice,” Kitty mutters sleepily. “Have fun.” 

“What’s she look like, is she hot?” Doug asks, rolling closer to Illyana to get a look at her phone.

“Yep,” Illyana says. “Red hair. Tall.” 

“Sounds like Rachel,” Kitty comments. She freezes. “Wait. Is it Rachel?” 

“Her name is Andy,” Doug says, reading the screen. 

Kitty breathes a sigh of relief. 

Illyana rolls her eyes. “It wouldn’t be a problem if I dated Rachel, would it?” 

“...no,” Kitty says. “...Maybe.” 

Illyana pulls the pillow from behind her head, leans over and hits Kitty with it. 

“Ow!” Kitty groans. “What?!” 

“You can’t have all the hot people!” Illyana snaps. 

“Wisdom isn’t hot,” Doug comments. “But then...my closest male relationship is with a techno-organic being from space, so what do I know?” 

Illyana hits him next. 

“Oooow,” Doug whines. “Why do you two keep hitting me?!”

“It’s easy,” Kitty tells him, sitting up, looking over at Illyana. “I have complicated feelings about Rachel, and the fact that I was attracted to her and also compared myself to her for a really long time. And I’m sorry if that’s a hindrance to you and your new-found extroversion but it’s the truth.” 

Illyana sighs and lays back, closing her eyes. “You’re right, you’re right. I just...I guess sometimes I get...it feels like everything is always about you. Your boys. Your girls. Your life. I want my attraction to someone else to be about me.” 

Kitty thinks about that for a long, quiet moment, and then takes a deep breath. “Then today is about you. We’ll get up, we’ll shower, we’ll find you something pretty to wear, and I’ll do your make-up, and you’ll have the best lunch date ever.” 

Illyana looks up at her smiles. “Really?” 

Kitty nods. “Really really.” 

Illyana smiles wider and hops out of bed, dashing for the shower. 

Doug grins and nudges Kitty gently. “That was good. That was decidedly un-asshole-ish.” 

Kitty grins back at him. “Go make us some breakfast.” 

“Burnt toast and runny eggs, comin’ up,” Doug replies, rolling out of bed.

Kitty smiles more to herself, before getting up and calling “Illyana, wash your hair!” 

“Why?! I washed it two days ago!” 

“Urgh. Wash your hair!” 

***** 

They eat breakfast, and Kitty and Illyana spend multiple hours going through the clothing they brought with them. 

Eventually they settle on a thin gray t-shirt and cut-off shorts along with sandals and a sheer short sleeved kimono over it. Kitty helps her with her hair, styling it with beach waves, forgoing her usual straight style; her make-up is subtle and natural, making her skin look appealingly dewy and accentuating her big, blue eyes. 

“I think she’s ready,” Doug says. 

Kitty nods, admiring her handiwork. “Yep.” 

They high-five, and Illyana rolls her eyes. 

“I hate you both.” 

“You’re welcome,” Kitty grins, kissing her cheek. “Have fun with your redhead.” 

“What are you two gonna do?” Illyana asks, quirking an eyebrow. 

“There are two bookstores in town, “ Doug says, rubbing his hands together. “We have work to do.” 

“God help us all,” Illyana groans. “Don’t buy out their stock. I’m not storing your books in Limbo for you when you run out of room.” 

“No promises,” Kitty tells her. “Go. Eat. Flirt. Have a good time.” 

Illyana starts to call up a stepping disc, but Doug stops her.

“I called you a Lyft.” 

“What?” Illyana snaps. “Why?” 

“Because you don’t wanna scare the bejesus out of your date,” Doug answers.

Illyana thinks that over, and then nods. “Okay. Fine.” She blows out a breath as a car horn honks. “Okay. Date. Dating. Date.” 

Kitty nudges her. “Go.” 

***** 

“You okay?” Doug asks as he and Kitty wander around the first bookstore. 

“Fine, why?” 

“Cause...Illyana is on a lunch date with a stranger,” Doug points out. “And you guys have feelings about each other.” 

Kitty shrugs and sighs. “I’m not gonna lie and say I don’t feel weird. I do. But...Illyana needs experience. She needs to figure out what she wants and who she is, really. Outside the X-Men, outside of Piotr’s sister, and outside of our relationship and outside of the whole demon queen thing. She needs this. I’m not gonna stand in the way of that. I’m just...surprised it’s happening so fast.” 

“Well, we were pretty drunk last night,” Doug points out. “If it hadn’t been for me an’ ‘Yana, you woulda went home with Wisdom last night.” 

Kitty smirks a little as they turn the corner into another aisle of bookshelves. 

Doug tilts his head. “What?” 

“Nothing.” 

“What?” Doug asks again. “Did you and Wisdom have a quickie in the bathroom or something?” 

“No!” Kitty cries. “But-” 

Her phone buzzes. 

Doug shakes his head. “That’s him, isn’t it.” 

“No. Maybe.” 

“You’ve been text flirting,” Doug accuses her. “Kitty.” 

“There’s no harm in it,” she defends herself, looking down at her phone. 

“Other than hurting the hell out of him when you’re not on the rebound anymore,” Doug points out.

Kitty sighs softly and puts her phone away without responding to her text. “I’m not- I’m not on the rebound. And there’s literally an ocean between us. There’s nothing wrong with reconnecting with Pete.” 

“Okay,” Doug says. “Okay, but let’s imagine for a minute and say you are still hurting from everything that's happened. You guys talk. You talk all the time, you talk about everything, you’re friends but you hug him way too tight and way too long to just be friends, and sometimes you kiss, and let’s say...oh, I don’t know. You wind up over there for a mission or he winds up here, and it goes great. You work together, it’s like old times. So like old times that you fall into bed, and you wake up in the morning, and there he is. And you think ‘what the fuck am I doing?’ And then he’s hurt, and you feel like trash cause you hurt him and it’s an entirely new and different mess you gotta clean up. And to top it off, you’re back to square one with someone you cared about.” 

They stare at each other, and Kitty purses her lips.

“Doug.” 

“What?” 

“Are we talking about me and Pete? Or are we talking about you and Betsy?” 

He stares at her, his face slowly turning red. “Fuck.” 

“Uh-huh,” Kitty nods. 

“Fuuuuck.” 

“Yeah.” 

He puts his hands over his face. “Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.” 

“No, no, it’s okay,” Kitty says. “Look, I know I’m not exactly in a place to start something with Pete right now. I need time. But like I said yesterday morning, he makes me feel like things will be okay, and I like that feeling, even if it’s over text message an ocean away. And if he minded, he’d tell me.” 

“Except that he wouldn’t,” Doug points out. 

“What?” 

“He can’t say no to you,” Doug goes on. 

Kitty wrinkles her nose and shakes her head. “What?” 

“You say jump, Wisdom says how high,” Doug says. “I saw it last night. You wanted a kiss, and he was gonna give in until Kurt butted in.” 

She thinks about that, and looks a little pouty. “Damn.” 

Doug rolls his eyes. “You’re hopeless.” 

“What about you?” Kitty asks, following him as he starts walking further into the bookshop. “You’re not hopeless? Following your dick and sleeping with Betsy while leading Rahne on? How are you better?” 

He turns on her, getting a little angry, pointing at her. “FIrst of all, this thing with Betsy is complicated. I don’t know what I feel. Second of all, I’m not leading Rahne on. I’ve never lead Rahne on, and if that’s what you think of me, then I don’t know why the hell we’re friends in the first place.” 

“Sorry,” Kitty says quietly. “I didn’t mean- I just...Doug, what do you really want out of these two people? Love? Sex? Friendship? Nothing?” 

“I have no idea,” Doug admits. “I don’t know what I want. At all. I said it yesterday, I’ve been going through the motions of what I feel like I’m supposed to be doing.” 

“Does Betsy make you feel anything?” 

“Sometimes,” Doug says, looking away. “But sometimes I just check out. And that has nothing to do with her. It has everything to do with me.” 

“What about Warlock?” 

“What about him?” Doug asks, looking confused. 

Kitty stares at him. 

Doug opens his mouth, and then closes it, and then opens it again, and then closes it again. 

She waits. 

He hangs his head, and then walks back towards the comics section of the bookstore without her. 

Kitty sighs heavily, pulls her phone out again, and types the words “boys are dumb” to Pete. 

He pings back a few minutes later and she grins when she reads it: “It’s not easy having an upstairs brain and a downstairs brain. Splitting our common sense between both is a challenge.” 

She shakes her head, and leaves Doug to his thoughts, opting to hit the sci-fi section of the bookstore.

***** 

“So what do you do?” Andy asks as their food is served. 

“Oh, I’m…” Illyana shrugs. “I’m between jobs right now.” It’s a lie. It’s sort of a lie. She’s between many things right now. Just not jobs. “And I’m on vacation with two of my best friends. Just for the week. It’s been good. I mean. Yeah. Good.” 

Andy smiles widely. She’s smart and pretty, and interesting. A digital artist from New Jersey who helps create educational games for elementary school students. 

“You don’t sound so sure.” 

“Well, everybody’s been a little crazy,” Illyana admits. “My best friend just left my brother at the altar and my other best friend is kind of having this existential crisis that’s affecting his love life among other things. It’s been really intense.” 

“It sounds intense,” Andy responds, her eyes widening. “Your poor brother.” 

“He’s gonna be okay,” Illyana tells her. “He’s just...not the person for her.” 

Andy nods. “Well, it’s better they figure that out now. Instead of like twenty years from now.” She shudders. “Oof. Can you imagine being married to the wrong person for all that time? It sounds terrible.” 

“Yeah, it does,” Illyana muses. She smiles a little. “Have you ever been married?” 

“Heck no,” Andy grins. “But I was in a long-term relationship with this one girl for a really long time. For years. I really wanted it to work, you know? And I still care about her, but she just wasn’t the one for me.” 

“And that’s okay, right?” Illyana asks. 

“It is okay, “Andy agrees. “We’re only here on earth for a short time. Being with the wrong person seems like a waste. Why not try to be happy?” 

Illyana stares at her for a long quiet moment. 

“Did I say something wrong?” Andy asks. 

Slowly, Illyana grins. “No. No, you didn’t say anything wrong at all.” Her grin widens. “Tell me more about digital art. It sounds beautiful.”


	10. Chapter 10

It’s much later that Illyana steps back into the beach house. She wanders around quietly, thinking over her date. It had gone well; nerve-wracking at first, but Andy was nice, and clearly interested in her, and Illyana had oddly found herself relaxing when she hadn’t meant to. 

She makes her way to the sun deck, and finds Kitty and Doug taking up a chair each, piles of books around them, as they read quietly. A pitcher of margaritas sits on the table between them along with two glasses. 

Kitty smiles up at her. “So? How’d it go?” 

Illyana nods. “It was...good. Really good. It was weird because it was really good.” 

“That’s awesome,” Doug says without looking up. “You gonna see her again?” 

“I…” Illyana shrugs. “Was that a thing I was supposed to talk about?” 

Kitty grins up at her. “If you want to see her again, then yes.” 

“Oh.” 

“Text her,” Doug says. 

“She’s a digital artist,” Illyana says.

“Text her,” Doug repeats. 

“And she likes cats,” Illyana goes on. “And expressionist paintings. And barbecue chicken pizza.” 

“Text her,” Kitty laughs. “Text this girl and ask her to dinner before we go home.” 

“Are we going home?” Doug asks, finally looking up. 

The three of them look at each other and Illyana sits on the edge of Kitty’s seat. 

“Do you wanna go home?” Illyana asks. 

No one says anything for a long moment before Kitty speaks up again. 

“Okay. Let’s take inventory. I’m headmistress and team leader, but I left one of my team at the altar in front of all of our friends and family.” 

“I...am sleeping with Betsy,” Doug goes next. “And emotionally attached to Rahne but I...might have some unresolved feelings for Warlock.” 

“Really?” Illyana snaps sarcastically. “I had no idea that the extreme attachment you’ve had since you were a kid to the alien being on our team might be causing turmoil in your adult love life.” 

“Like you’re the poster child for normalcy,” Doug snaps back. 

Illyana smirks and speaks up next. “I had sex with my best friend, who is the woman who left my brother at the altar in front of all our friends and family, and I still haven’t formally come out to said brother as gay even though he mostly knows.” 

Kitty nods. “So what I’m hearing is that none of us want to go back.” 

“We have to go back,” Doug argues gently. “We’re adults. It’s one thing to take some time away on a vacation, but to just up and fuck off? We can’t do that.” 

“We can,” Illyana corrects him. “But we shouldn’t.” 

Kitty sighs heavily. “We still have a couple of days to figure it out. In the meantime, I’ve got books to read.” She smiles at Illyana. “And you have a girl to text.” 

Illyana flushes a little and looks down at her phone. “You know what?” 

“What?” Doug asks. 

She looks at him and then at Kitty and then back down at her phone and wonders why they have to be so unhappy; why they can’t have the things that they want, and what’s so wrong with the things that they want. Her lunch date had been so good; so easy and quiet and fun. Why can’t they all have that? 

“I’ll be back,” she says, getting up and storming out with a purpose. 

***** 

Doug sits on the sun deck that evening, watching the waves crash along the shore, and looking down at his phone. 

He runs his thumb over the screen and thinks about calling Betsy. Or Rahne. 

“I’m such a chicken,” he mutters to himself.

“Why would Selfsoulfriend Doug designate himself as poultry?” Warlock’s mechanical voice asks, stretching his neck and head in front of Doug’s face, upside down. 

Doug can’t help a grin as he rubs his eyes. “What’re you doin’ here?” 

“Selfriend Illyana came to get self to help selfsoulfriend Doug.” 

“Of course she did.” He sighs heavily. “Take a seat, buddy. It’s gonna be a long night.” 

“Self is here for selfsoufriend Doug.” 

“Yeah. Thanks.” 

He rests his head against Warlock and sighs, relaxing just a little. 

***** 

“Seems we’re seein’ more an’ more of each other.” 

Kitty’s eyes widen as she slowly looks up from the book she’s reading. It’s windy out, and she’s been sitting on the balcony off of the main bedroom for hours. Now, Pete Wisdom stands in the doorway, looking a little unsure. 

“What are you doing here?” Kitty asks. 

“Your witch girl came and got me,” Pete tells her. “She didn’t say why. She just...popped up into me flat and took my hand and now here I am. She said to tell you she’s goin out. Somethin’ about somebody named Andy.” 

Kitty smiles incredulously. “Illyana’s lunch date from earlier today. We told Illyana to text her to set up another date, I guess she did.” 

“Must ‘ave,” Pete nods, stepping out the rest of the way and sitting down next to Kitty on the swinging bench she’s curled up on. “S’nice here. Never been to the Hamptons before this week.” 

Kitty nods. “This is Betsy and Brian’s house,” she tells him. “Well, their parents’ house. Betsy told Doug we could use it.” 

Pete gives a low whistle. “That’s trouble, them two together.” 

“You’re not wrong, but how do you figure?” 

“Ain’t he just back from the dead?” Pete asks, lifting an eyebrow. “And didn’t they know each other when he was a kid?” 

“Yes, and yes,” Kitty nods. “But then, I was pretty young when we dated.” 

“You were twenty, and I wasn’t a teacher at your school,” Pete points out. “I think it’s a bit different.” 

Kitty looks out at the water and sighs, before looking back at him. She smiles sheepishly. “Do you remember when we used to watch the sun go down on Muir together? And we’d just...sit and be quiet and watch.” 

“I do,” Pete grins sadly. “It was nice. Just bein’ together, not havin’ to say much.” 

They sit in silence after that, just watching the waves, until he takes a breath. 

“Look, Pryde,” Pete says slowly. “The last couple days...they don’t have to mean anything. Honestly it’s enough for me that we’re talkin’ again. Friends, like.” 

Kitty smiles at him a little. 

He shrugs. “T’be honest, I’ll take you however I can get you.” 

They’re quiet again, and it’s Kitty’s turn to talk eventually. 

“We hurt each other a lot when we broke up,” she points out. “You pushed me away, I pushed you away, and then that whole thing while I was at SHIELD…” she sighs and looks at him. “And then you got married, which was nuts, and I just left somebody at the altar, and-” she blows out a breath and turns even more towards him. “If we try to navigate this thing again...how do we not do those things?” 

“Well, you can start by not asking Rasputin to marry you,” Pete jokes. 

“Very funny,” she drawls out. She sighs softly and gazes at him. “You were so closed off at the end. You swallowed every single feeling and you shut down and that’s a big part of what wrecked us.” 

Pete closes his eyes. “I- yeah.” He shrugs. “Can’t argue.” 

“I wanted to be your person,” Kitty tells him. “I wanted to be the one person that you could tell whatever. Funny. Scary. Sad. Dumb. I wanted it.” 

“I didn’t know how to let you,” he admits, swallowing and looking at her vulnerably. “I’m not-I’m not Rasputin. I don’t know how to do feelings the way he knows how to do feelings.” 

Kitty curls up tighter. “I didn’t want you to be like Piotr. I just wanted you to let me in.” 

“And now?” he asks, still looking out at the water. 

“I still do,” she says softly. “I mean...I’m still not totally convinced I’m ready to jump into another super intense relationship but-” 

“Right,” Pete nods. “I want to let you in. I...I want to try again. But I’m not...I’m not lookin’ to trap you into anything. Or trick you into bein’ with me. I just...bloody miss you. And if it would help if we made this an open thing...” 

“Open?” she asks, tilting her head, looking thoughtful.

He shrugs and nods.

“So if I found a girl I liked…” 

Pete smirks at her, leaning in. “Can I watch?” 

Kitty laughs and shoves at his face. “Pete!” 

He laughs, too, but goes quiet, looking out at the water again. 

She watches him carefully. “What about you?” 

“What about me?” he asks. 

Kitty bites her lip. “If you found another person, too...other women...Tink...” 

Pete rubs the back of his neck. “Yeah, Pryde, I’m not…Tink and I don't really have a relationship, and I’m not cut out for more than one person at a time, me. Byproduct of bein’ really fucked in the head.” 

She nods and they both go quiet again. 

“It’s...really generous of you,” she says finally. “Which doesn’t seem like you.” 

“Well, we’re both older,” Pete admits. “A bit less intense. I am at least. Not so angry all the fucking time. Braddock just calls me ‘perpetually annoyed’ now.” 

Kitty smiles, but it fades. “Are you afraid I’m just on the rebound? Everybody keeps saying that. Even I’ve been thinking it. That you would just be my rebound guy, and I’d eventually come to my senses and move on.” 

Pete grins sadly and nods. “Yeah. I’ve heard that from Wagner. But I know you, Pryde. You spent a long time tellin’ everybody who’d listen that I never did, but I do. If I was just some pitstop on your way to bein’ over Rasputin, you woulda pinned me down on our mission the other night an’ had your way.” He shifts a little, looking slightly less confident. “Way thing’s’ve been goin, you not jumpin right in...sorta thought...hoped...it meant you maybe still cared a bit.” 

“I do,” she admits. “I do still care. And you’re right. I’ve been holding back physically because I don’t want to hurt you. Or me.” 

He nods. 

“I have a lot of responsibilities here in the states still,” Kitty tells him. “And you have MI-13. If we try again, it’d be long distance.” 

“What part of ‘take you any way I can get you’ did you not get?” 

Kitty looks back out at the water again and then back at him. “And what if...what if for right now, I’m not interested in anybody but you?” 

He swallows again, and doesn’t meet her eyes. “That’d be up to you.” 

She keeps looking at him, watching him, and she notices that his eyes are so tired. 

She wonders if Pete’s gotten any decent sleep recently. She remembers just how terrible his nightmares were back when they were together, and hopes that this is just a symptom of staying out late to drink with Kurt the night before, and staying up all night the night before that on their mission.

They sit quietly for a little while, and he watches the ocean, while Kitty watches him, before she gets to her feet then, reaching down and taking his hand. “Come on.” 

Pete looks up at her for a moment, before getting to his feet and following her back into the bedroom. She pushes him down onto the bed before sitting down too and crawling to the other side. 

He watches her for a moment, before slowly leaning down to get his shoes off. He loosens his tie and pulls it over his head, and then lays down next to her. 

Kitty reaches over and clicks the light off before cuddling in against him, her head on his chest and her arms around him; one leg flung over his. She can feel him relax against her as his chin rests on top of her head. 

“G’night, Pete.” 

“G’night, Pryde.” 

***** 

“I was really surprised to hear from you again so soon,” Andy says. 

“Good surprised, or bad surprised?” Illyana asks as they walk along the beach. 

“I’m here, aren’t I?” Andy teases her. “So? How was the rest of your afternoon.” 

“Productive,” Illyana admits. “I may have done a little pushing in the right direction for my two friends.” 

“Oh?” Andy asks. “How so?” 

“Well, I thought about what you said,” Illyana tells her. “About trying to be happy. And I realized suddenly that the three of us have spent our whole vacation fixated on our mistakes and our shortcomings...the things that we think make us bad people. I think we started to forget to try for the good things. So I tried for all three of us.” 

Andy smiles at her. “And that included calling me up to take a walk?” 

Illyana nods slowly and looks out at the water. “It did.” 

And she smiles back.


	11. Chapter 11

Kitty wakes up early, burying her face further into Pete’s chest, breathing him in. She feels his fingers stroke her hair slowly and gently.

“How’d you sleep?” she asks without looking at him. 

“Good,” he says, his voice still thick and sleepy. “Better’n I have in a long time.” 

“I thought so,” Kitty smiles. “I still know you, too.” 

“Mhm.” It’s a soft rumble through his chest as his hand continues to stroke her hair. 

“Just like I know what you’re thinking,” she says. 

“Do you?” 

She nods. “You. Me. Big bed. Too early for anybody else to be up and moving…” 

“Right. So I’ve become predictable in my old age,” Pete jokes, his other hand stroking her hip lightly, and she can feel him pressing against her. It sends a nice shiver up her spine. 

Kitty pulls away to look up at him as his hand moves lower, and she starts to breathe harder. “I don’t mind predictable as long as your follow-through is still reliable.” 

“Is that a challenge?” he asks in a deep voice, his grin wide. 

“What’re you gonna do about it, Wisdom?” she counters, tilting her head up for a kiss. 

When their lips meet, it starts out slow, but quickly turns more frantic as she unbuttons his shirt and he runs his hands up the back of hers, stroking her skin. Pillows are knocked on the floor and eventually clothing as well. 

He still knows how to make her moan and shudder and fall apart underneath him, and it's both amazing and infuriating all at once.

After, as they try to catch their breath, his face is pressed in against her neck, his eyes closed. She strokes his jaw gently as his hand slides over her skin, settling on her hip. 

“Oh, I knew I was in trouble,” Pete says softly, nuzzling her. 

“Good trouble,” Kitty tells him, and turns her head to kiss him softly. 

*****

Doug stays up all night. 

He doesn’t wind up calling Betsy or Rahne. He only stays curled up against Warlock and watches the sun come up, as he feels long, metallic fingers scratch at his hair. 

“One day I’ll figure all this out,” Doug mutters. 

“Selfsoulfriend Doug will figure it all out,” Warlock says. “Selfsoulfriend Doug is good at figures. Self only wishes for Selfsoulfriend Doug to be happy.” 

Doug grins. “Thanks.” 

Eventually, he gets to his feet and stretches. “Last day at the beach. We gotta head back to school tomorrow. You stickin’ around?” 

“Self would like very much to walk along the beach and find shells!” 

“Then we can do that,” Doug grins. “But we gotta get everybody up and fed first.” He heads back into the house and looks around, sighing. “I’m ordering breakfast in. I can’t even muster the energy to burn toast this morning. KITTY! ‘YANA! I’M ORDERING PANCAKES!” 

“No y’not!” a voice that is decidedly not Kitty’s or Illyana’s yells back. 

Doug frowns at Warlock, who looks equally confused. 

It takes a few moments, but eventually Pete Wisdom dashes down the stairs, disheveled but most definitely awake. 

“Uh...what’s up, Pete Wisdom?” Doug asks awkwardly. “How’d you get here?” 

“Witch girl,” Pete says, and then turns back to the stairs. “Shake a leg, Pryde.” 

Kitty dashes down the stairs a moment later, smiling and just as disheveled as Wisdom. “Did somebody say pancakes? I’m starving.” 

“I bet you are,” Doug mutters, nodding. “Why am I not ordering breakfast?” 

“Because I’m teaching Pryde to cook,” Pete says, rolling his sleeves up. 

“And I’m not gonna pass up the chance, since he never gets up this early,” Kitty grins, nudging Pete gently. 

“Cool, I’ll get the fire extinguisher,” Doug says, dashing off. “Anybody seen Illyana?” 

“Not since last night,” Kitty says as she watches Pete look through the cabinets and the fridge. 

“I’m here,” Illyana says as she steps into the room, stretching. 

“Where have you been?” Doug asks, as he goes for the fire extinguisher. “And what’s with your bringing Warlock and Wisdom here?” 

Illyana grins and shrugs. “Fuck it.” 

“That seems to be your motto this week,” Kitty grins at her, holding an arm out to her. 

Illyana hesitates for a moment, looking at Wisdom and then at Kitty, who coaxes her forward. She steps over, standing next to her and snuggling in to her side. 

“Morning.” 

“Hi,” Kitty grins. “Pete is gonna teach me how to cook.” 

“Should I get the-” 

Doug holds up the fire extinguisher as he steps back in. “I’m already on it.” 

“Selfriend Illyana, where is selfriend Illyana’s new selfriend?” 

“She had to go home,” Illyana grins. “But since tonight is our last night here, I thought maybe we could have a nice dinner, invite her back. Order something fancy in and eat out on the deck.” 

“That sounds nice,” Kitty grins. “Pete, you wanna make us dinner, too?” 

“I can make pancakes, Pryde,” Pete grins wrly. “Can’t make anything fancy.” 

“It was worth a shot,” Kitty shrugs. She gives Illyana’s shoulder a squeeze before stepping over to Pete, standing close to see what he’s doing. Warlock gets close too to watch, mistified. 

“Selfriend Wisdom has shown self how to make pancakes before?” he asks. 

“Well, sort of,” Pete says. “You weren’t quite you at the time. Wanna learn, ‘Lock?” 

“Self would like to learn!” 

“I wanna learn too,” Doug says, walking over the fire extinguisher still in hand. 

Illyana takes a seat at the large island in the kitchen, watching them, and listening to Pete narrate his actions as Warlock’s head rests on top of Doug’s and Kitty’s hand rests on Pete’s lower back, playing with his shirt. 

She grins, and gets up to make coffee.

****   
Illyana takes her pancakes up to the sun deck, and Kitty follows her, sitting across from her on the other tanning chair. 

“What made you bring Pete and Warlock here?” Kitty asks, looking curious. “Doug is still so confused about everything. And everybody’s been warning me about not rebounding with him. Even I was trying to stay away from him, and you just...brought him here.” 

"First of all, Doug needs to figure his crap out," Illyana says, poking at her food. "And he was dragging his heels."

Kitty nods, agreeing. "Well...yeah..."

Illyana sighs and looks out at the beach, watching kids run out to play. “As for you, I know you, Katya. The way you looked at him the other night when we were out at that club. The way you looked at him today. That’s not you rebounding. And you don’t look at Piotr that way. You don’t even look at me that way.” 

“What way?” Kitty asks softly. 

“Like even when he’s being an asshole, you can’t get enough of him,” Illyana shrugs. 

Kitty turns a little red and eats some of her pancake. “God these are good. You know, Pete didn’t cook much when we were first together, but I think he was just embarrassed in front of the rest of the team.” 

“Too bad, these are great,” Illyana nods. 

Kitty nods. “So Andy?” 

Ilyanna shrugs. “We’re leaving tomorrow. We might keep in touch. But she lives in Jersey, so.” 

Kitty grins. “That's not that far.” 

"Yeah, but it's Jersey."

"Spoken like a true Russian New Yorker," Kitty teases.

"I also don't want to latch on to the first girl who comes along," Illyana admits. 

Kitty nods understandingly. "Plenty of fish."

“A whole dating app full,” Illyana smirks, and they both giggle. 

“So...you know…” Kitty starts hesitantly. 

“What?” 

“Pete and I talked last night,” Kitty goes on. “And...and he said he was okay if I...if he and I were kind of...open. Eventually. I mean he says he’s okay with it like right now, but...but I’d like to spend some time really getting to know him again. I missed him.” 

Illyana nods slowly. 

“But...you know...you and I -” 

“Haven’t changed,” Illyana reminds her. “My brother would still be crushed, and I can’t, Kitty. I love you. And I know you love me. But we already made a choice here, and we shouldn’t change it.” 

Kitty sighs and looks down at her pancakes, poking at them with her fork. “Maybe one day.” 

Illyana reaches out and takes her free hand. “Maybe one day.”


	12. Chapter 12

It’s a relatively quiet day, with everyone spending their time roaming around on the beach, chatting and running in and out of the water. 

“Right,” Pete says as they’re getting ready to head back. He turns to Illyana. “Kitty mentioned your whole soul problem. You’re gonna wanna call an old mate of mine. I’ll send you his number. He’s like me, but older, a bit ruder. And blond. So you should get on fine. He might even already know who you are.” 

“But he can help?” 

“If he can’t I don’t know who can,” Pete tells her. 

Illyana nods and blows out a breath. “Thanks, Wisdom.” 

“Yeah, well, Pryde loves you, so.” 

Illyana grins a little and they all keep walking back toward the house. 

“I told you I knew a guy,” Kitty mutters to Doug. 

“So you did,” Doug smirks. 

“You ever gonna call Betsy or Rahne before we get back?” Kitty asks him. 

“I…” Doug frowns. “I might.” 

Kitty takes his arm, resting her head on his shoulder. “Yeah.” 

***** 

Dinner that night is good, ordered from a local Italian place, and they all do their best not to scare the hell out of Andy. She’s obviously a little freaked out by Warlock, and so they do their best to act normal. 

“So...we’re X-Men,” Illyana tells her, fessing up. “Uh...when I said I was between jobs, I...sorta meant...superhero missions.” 

Andy blinks and stares at her, and then at everyone else at the table, before laughing a little. “Whoa. That’s...nuts. But kind of awesome.” 

Illyana smiles slowly. 

Eventually conversation settles into an easy rhythm. 

“Are we ready to go back tomorrow?” Doug asks as he finishes eating. 

“No,” Illyana and Kitty say at once. 

“You’ll be fine,” Pete says, reaching out for Kitty’s hand, tugging on it gently. She stands to walk over to settle in his lap. 

Illyana watches them, marveling at how easy they fall into this; how Kitty and Piotr never had a physical rhythm unless they were on the battlefield, and how this seems so natural for them. 

“How do you know?” Kitty asks, wrapping her arms around his neck. 

Pete shrugs and rubs her side gently. “Cause you’re the best. But if you need me to come along…” 

“No way, mister, you’ve gotta go back to work in the morning,” Kitty grins at him. “MI-13 needs you.” 

Pete rolls his eyes. “Well, they would be bloody lost without me.” 

The table laughs lightly. 

“It’s too bad we only met at the end of your trip,” Andy says to Illyana. “Maybe I could come visit you.” 

Illyana opens her mouth and then closes it again. 

“You might need kind of a primer first,” Doug says quickly. 

“Wait, so if you’re X-Men, you all have powers, right?” Andy asks, looking at them all. 

“Well...yeah,” Kitty nods. “We do.” 

“So what are they?” Andy asks excitedly, bouncing in her chair a little. 

Pete lifts his hand, and his fingers heat up, curving in an unnatural way, looking like they're on fire, and Kitty proceeds to phase her hand through his face. 

“Gah,” Pete complains. “Still weird. Still very weird.” 

Kitty giggles and pulls her hand back as Pete’s hot knives die out with a shake of his hand. 

“Whoa,” Andy marvels. She looks at Doug and Illyana, smiling. “What about you guys?” 

“I’m less flashy,” Doug says. “I speak languages. It’s not exciting.” 

Illyana shrugs, stands up, conjures a stepping disc, steps through it, and comes out behind Kitty and Pete. “Tada.” 

“Okay, that’s cool,” Andy says, delighted. “I didn’t know X-Men got vacations.” 

“I’m not an X-Man,” Pete says quickly. “I have never been an X-Man.” 

“Lies,” Illyana snaps. “All lies. You were part of Excalibur.” 

“S’different!” Pete cries. “There was no balding weirdo what recruited me, an’ I didn’t ever wear the bloody spandex. Ever.” 

“You’re such a snob,” Kitty teases him. “And you would have looked great in some black and yellow tights.” 

“Issat right?” Pete asks, tickling her. 

She yelps and phases, standing up. “Watch it!” 

Pete shakes his head. “You keep your tights away from me, Pryde, unless you’re planning to leave ‘em on me bedroom floor.” 

“Gross,” Doug comments. 

“I’m sorry, who’s dating the Technarch?” Kitty asks with a laugh. 

Warlock looks excited. “Self and Selfsoulfriend Doug are dating?!” 

“We’ll talk about it later,’ Doug tells him, before turning back to Kitty. “At least he showers.” 

"Oi!" Pete cries. "I have a real job that requires me to be an actual professional," he snaps. "I shower plenty, thanks." 

“Self does not need showers!” Warlock cries proudly. 

“I shower,” Doug corrects. 

“Not enough,” Illyana comments as she sits back down next to Andy. 

“Is this gang up on Doug night?” Doug asks, looking mockingly hurt. 

“Mostly I’m trying to keep it from being gang up on Pete night,” Kitty admits, sitting back down on Wisdom’s lap. “He’s gonna get enough crap when the team finds out.” 

Pete blows out a breath. “Right. I should brace myself for the Russian to try an’ murder me again, aye?” 

“Possibly,” Doug says. “I mean, Kitty did leave him at the altar, and now she can’t stop snuggling you. This could get awkward and violent fast.” 

“Ah, let it,” Pete shakes his head. “X-Wankers don’t scare me.” 

“Besides, Pete’ll be back at work tomorrow,” Kitty says. “Out of the blast radius. Piotr wants to hit somebody, he can hit me.” 

Pete freezes and blinks at her. “I’m tempted to come with, just to watch you feed him his own spleen when he tries.” 

“Piotr would never hit Kitty,” Illyana argues. “Things haven’t worked out, obviously, but he’s not crazy like that anymore.” 

“You guys probably have the best stories, and I want to hear all of them,” Andy tells them. 

The rest of the group laughs. Mostly because they all know that that isn’t true at all. 

Nobody wants to know all of them. 

***** 

Kitty cleans up after dinner, washing the dishes quietly. Illyana had left to walk Andy back to her place, and Doug and Warlock had gone for a wander down the beach. 

Behind her, Pete’s arms slowly wrap around her middle and his lips rest against her temple. 

She grins. “I’m busy.” 

“Not that busy,” he teases. 

Kitty puts the sponge down and wipes her hands on the towel at her side. She sighs and leans back against him. “I’m not ready to go back to the real world.” 

“I know,” he says quietly, tightening his arms a little. “Not ready to let you.” 

“I knew this would happen, you know,” she says softly. “I knew that if I saw you after what happened with Piotr I would just...fall for you all over again, and it scared the hell out of me.” 

He doesn’t reply, letting her talk. 

“It feels like this was unavoidable,” Kitty tells him. “Collision-course levels of unavoidable.” 

Pete grins. “I know what you mean.” He takes a breath and rests his forehead against her shoulder, hiding his face. “Pryde, I’m still…I’ve always...” 

“I know,” she says, reaching back to stroke his hair gently. “Me too.” 

His lips rest against her neck, and she forgets about the dishes in favor of the feel of him. 

They stand like that in comfortable silence for a long moment.

“You talk to Illyana?” Pete asks finally, his voice quiet. “About what we talked about?” 

Kitty nods. “She’s pretty adamant about not hurting her brother. And I agree, but...it still sucks.” 

“‘M sorry,” he says. “Y’got me. Not a terrible consolation prize.” 

“Call yourself a consolation prize again and I’ll smack you,” she warns. 

“Promises promises.” 

Kitty laughs a little and leans up to kiss his stubbly chin. “Dishes.” 

He nods and lets go of her to stand next to her. “Right. You wash, I’ll dry.” 

“Deal.”

***** 

“Selfsoulfriend Doug and self are dating?” Warlock asks. 

Doug blinks, thinking about that. “I mean. I don’t know. We’ve been the same person. Berto once told me you possessed my dead body after I died to try and bring me back to life. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is.” 

“Self was trying to-” 

“We don’t have to talk about that,” Doug says quickly. “The point is...I mean...yeah. It’s always gonna be you and me. We don’t have to label it if you don’t want to, we can do whatever you want.” 

Warlock wraps himself around Doug tightly and holds on. “Self will always be with Selfsoulfriend Doug. Always.” 

Doug grins and pats his arm. “Yeah.” 

***** 

“Your friends are great,” Andy smiles as they walk up the drive to her place. “Tonight was a lot of fun. And I meant it, I would love to come visit you.” 

Illyana shrugs. “Maybe.” She smiles a little. “We’ll see how things go when we get back.” 

Andy nods. “Well, let me know. Don’t be a stranger.” 

Illyana smiles and nods back but doesn’t move to leave, and when Andy leans in to kiss her, it’s brief and soft, and she flushes in a way she hasn’t in a long time. Or maybe ever. 

Andy smiles widely, waves and then heads up to the front door, leaving Illyana to stand there, goofy grin in place for a long moment, before finally wandering back toward the way she came.


	13. Chapter 13

Morning arrives quickly, and Doug groans at the knock on the bedroom door.

Next to him, wrapped around him, Warlock remains still, and calm, and quiet. 

“Go ‘way!” he calls. 

“Nope!” Illyana snaps, stepping into the room, stopping when she sees them. “Ooh. Hey. You uh.” 

“I’m not wearing any pants,” Doug finishes, pulling a pillow to cover himself a little. “Good morning. What?” 

Illyana shakes her head out,rubbing her eyes. “I gotta take Warlock back. And Wisdom. I was gonna grab Lock first, cause I could hear Kitty and Pete through the walls last night, and they might need a little extra time.” 

Doug gives her a grumpy look. “Just because we’re not loud, doesn’t mean we’re not active.” 

“Selfsoulfriend Doug was very active last night,” Warlock confirms without moving. 

“Yeah, thanks,” Doug nods. “Thanks for the confirmation. Illyana, can you-” 

A stepping disc opens up, and as she hops, in, she shouts back “Already way ahead of you!” 

Once she’s gone, Doug stretches. “Lock, you gotta let go. We gotta get moving.” 

“Self does not want to get moving, self wants to stay here.” 

“Yeah, well...as much as I’d like that, we’re on a schedule to get back to the school,” Doug says, his voicing going gentle. “Come on. I gotta shower and get dressed.” 

He hears what might pass for a grumble in Technarch, and grins to himself as he sits up, rubbing at his hair. 

“You think Illyana will have better luck with Kitty and Pete?” 

“Self thinks that Selffriend Kitty is much more stubborn than Selfsoulfriend Doug,” Warlock responds. “Self thinks they may be a while.” 

Doug snorts and then glances at Warlock. “So uh...about last night…” 

“Self would very much like to try last night’s activities again,” Warlock responds quickly. 

Doug blinks and then nods. “Yeah. Yep. Okay.” 

He can’t help smiling, just a little. 

*****

Kitty watches Pete get dressed after a shower. 

“I’ll call,” he tells her as he gets his shoes on. 

“You had better,” she tells him. “And text. And send selfies.” 

“I don’t selfie.” 

“Yes you do.” 

Pete grins at her sheepishly. “That was Meggan’s fault.” 

Kitty lays down, stretching out under the bedsheet. “Can’t you stay a little longer?” 

Pete watches her, his eyes roaming over her, knowing she’s naked under the covers. “You’re the one who told me I had to go back to work today. You changin’ your mind?” 

“I might be,” she tells him. “Can you get away with staying?”

“No he can’t!” Illyana calls. “I have to get him back home, and I have to get Warlock back to Berto and Dani and X’ian.” 

Pete lets out a slow breath. “Next time, Luv.” He reaches out and strokes her hair. “We’ll find a nice place to shack up alone, an’ you can have all the little while longer you want.” 

Kitty grins. “But you have to visit me at the school sometime.” 

“Let me know when things calm down,” Pete says. “I’ll visit then. Or I can just sneak in an’ out while everyone else is asleep.” He smirks and leans in for a kiss. “Have me wicked way and then swan off ‘fore anybody realizes it.” 

She kisses him softly, pulling him close. “Your dumb ass is staying for breakfast,” she says against his lips. 

“You only like me cause I can cook,” he teases. 

“Uh-huh. I’m gonna make you walk around in nothing but an apron and make me pancakes,” she teases right back. 

“I’m not complaining.” 

Illyana pounds on the door. “Stop being gross we have to go!” 

Pete blows out a breath and hangs his head. “Right. Back to the real world for me.” 

Kitty sighs and strokes his damp hair. “Okay. I need you to take care of yourself. No suicide missions, eat at least one full meal a day that doesn’t include whiskey as the main course, get sleep, keep showering.” 

He chuckles and tackles her to the bed, kissing her deeply before planting a soft kiss on her neck. “You too. Don’t let them X-Wankers drive you bonkers.” He gazes down at her for a moment, his smile fading. “And...don’t...don’t let ‘em talk you outta this. With me. Cause-” 

“Hey,” Kitty says softly, sliding her arms around his neck. “No. Come on. That’s not happening.” 

He nods. “Right. Course.” 

“I mean it, Wisdom. You’re stuck with me.” 

He leans in and kisses her again, holding her tightly, just as a stepping disc appears and Illyana clears her throat. 

“You know, you are ruining this very nice goodbye we’re trying to have, Illyana,” Pete says. “By being an enormous pain in the-

“Bye Pete,” Kitty says, shoving him off the bed. 

He blows out a breath and turns back to Kitty, kissing her one more time. “See you later, Pryde.” 

Illyana gives Kitty a pointed look. “It’s a good thing you like him, or I’d have dumped his rude ass in Limbo like five seconds ago.” 

Kitty smirks. “It’s part of his terrible charm.” 

Pete opens his mouth to respond, but Illyana shoves him into the stepping disc, and he yelps, before she follows in after him, disappearing. 

Kitty flops back on the bed.

*****

Illyana gets back, and packing and cleaning commences in a flurry of activity. Bottles are thrown away and couches are straightened. sheets are laundered and put back on the beds, and the kitchen is cleaned up.

Finally, in the afternoon, Doug finishes packing up the jeep, and the three of them look up at the beach house quietly, standing together. 

“Good vacation,” Doug says. 

“Definitely one for the books,” Illyana agrees. 

“Let’s go,” Kitty says, hopping into the driver’s seat. 

As they drive away and leave the house in the rear-view, they rolls down all the windows, and head home. 

They don’t talk much on the way back. They’ve done so much talking that it feels like they don’t have much to say anymore, so they drive in comfortable silence, stopping once for a pee break and for snacks. There’s a sense of mild dread between the three of them as they get closer and closer to Westchester county. 

***** 

“Is that-?” 

Kitty pulls the car to a short stop, throwing it in park and rushing to get out, watching as the Jean Grey school goes up in flames, fire turning the complex to ash, room by room. 

Illyana and Doug follow her, and stare, gobsmacked. 

A few feet away, Ororo, Remy, Rogue, Logan, Piotr, Rachel, and Kurt stand around a not-very guilty looking Quentin Quire. 

He grins at her. “Hi, Miss Pryde,” he says, waving. “Sorry about the school. And the whole not getting married thing.” 

Kitty opens her mouth to protest, but no words come out. She looks to Logan, who shakes his head. 

“Don’t even ask, Darlin’,” Logan says. “It ain’t worth it.” 

“Welcome home?” Rachel offers awkwardly. 

Kitty shakes her head, her mouth still open as she pulls her phone from her pocket quickly and dials. 

“Pryde?” Wisdom’s voice asks, obviously confused.

“Hey. So. About that MI-13 job.” She sighs deeply and looks at Illyana and Doug. “How many slots do you have open?” 

END


End file.
